#but ya it is a clever way to flirt

[beardedmrbean]

[sanguineterrain]

for the dc prompts you reblogged:

can i request jason todd x reader "someone likes being pinned down" + A flirting with B while sparring to throw them off their tracks

where reader is also a vigilante??

thank you so much 🩷

very sexy prompts thank u 😌

jason todd x gn!reader. r and robin!jay were friends, r doesn't know jason is alive/red hood but jason knows r is a vigilante. r's alias is 'nocturne' (if that's already in use oh well lmao). fighting/sparring, jason is mega in love with you as usual!!

all fics at @sanguinelibrary

****

"Still blindly following the Bat, huh?"

You land in a crouch on the rooftop, just like how Nightwing taught you. The Red Hood doesn't look at you, digging through two duffel bags. He doesn't even draw his gun, like you've seen him do with virtually every other vigilante in Gotham.

You wait, ready to spring into action. But Hood doesn't stop what he's doing. Slowly, you rise.

"What... do you mean?" you ask.

"I mean, why are you traipsing around Gotham as a bat-adjacent? Who are you s'posed to be anyway? Goth Bat? Alternative Scene Bat?"

"I'm Nocturne," you say, shoulders rising to your ears. Rude. You thought the chunky boots and star over your suit's eye mask were inspired.

Red Hood lifts a hand. "Don't get me wrong, I dig the threads. I'm just surprised B didn't have an aneurysm over the sequins. Then again, Discowing did do it first..."

Your first two meetings with the infamous Red Hood have been similar in that he's never very concerned about you stopping him (ouch), but he also isn't callous or cruel with you like he is with the other vigilantes.

Case in point: the last person who cornered Hood on a roof was Red Robin. Hood shot him in the shoulder before he could land.

In short, he's perplexing as hell.

Batman's forbidden the rest of the team to confront Hood without backup. And you're technically not supposed to be on patrol tonight. But if you can intercept Hood, that'll be a huge win.

Hood keeps on packing the duffels. You hesitate, then step forward.

"Get away from the bags," you say. "I won't ask twice."

Hood looks at you. "Nocturne's a pretty cool name, I'll admit. And I like the boots. But I still think you oughta call it quits."

He zips up the bags, stands, and kicks them to the corner of the roof.

"Because you're just that unstoppable?" you ask, hands curling into fists.

"Yeah. But mostly 'cause I know you're made for so much more than this, sweetheart."

And that is the third and perhaps most bewildering thing about your encounters with Red Hood: you've gotten the creeping feeling that he... likes you.

Which is ridiculous, and if you ever breathed a word of that to anybody, Batman would probably check you into Arkham.

You take another careful step forward. Hood leans against the railing and folds his arms.

"This the part where you apprehend and hogtie me for innocently packing a duffel bag?" he asks.

You glare. "Innocent? I know you're making a weapons delivery because I know you've been waiting for Batman to be off-planet to make it."

"Clever. Told ya you're too good for this," Hood says. "Should be in college with those smarts, not playing maid for Batman."

"Are you lecturing me?"

"I'm advising you as your friendly neighborhood drug lord. Lecturing makes me sound like a guy who's got too much money and too big of a savior complex to understand that the way he fights injustice is fundamentally flawed."

"Sounds personal."

Hood laughs. "Honey, you have no idea."

You strike.

Hood parries your first attack easily, which you expect. The truth is that whoever trained Hood cut no corners and you're still relatively new at vigilantism. It's only by the grace of God that Hood hasn't left you to bleed out on a roof.

You kick his shin, but Hood turns on the instep and blocks. You go for his shoulder, where his armor separates to give him more movement. But Hood's ready for that too, and he catches your arm.

"Gotta keep that right arm up," he says. "Surprised no one's trained that outta you yet."

You elbow Hood in the throat. He coughs and lets go.

"Like that?" you ask, muscles tense with adrenaline.

Hood makes a sound that might be a laugh, still choked from your hit. "Just like that, honeylove. Good job."

"I don't need feedback," you snap, immediately going back in for another hit.

"Sorry. I'll make this quick then. I do have a delivery."

On the next strike, you advance, using a technique Nightwing drilled into your head for bigger opponents. Hood goes down and you land atop him.

"Oh, that's a Nightwing takedown if I've ever seen one," Hood says beneath you.

You're close enough that you can hear his breathing through the decoder. Pride swells in you at taking him down. Not even Batman has managed such a thing.

Hood is warm and big. His shoulder span alone dwarfs you. When you'd seen him from afar, fighting Batman or Nightwing, you'd been terrified.

But now, perhaps stupidly, you feel comfortable. Annoyed, but safe. Something about him reminds you of home. Makes your stomach flip in a good way.

Which is terrifying.

"You're coming with me," you say, reaching for your cuffs.

"If only. Unfortunately, you've forgotten a teensy weensy detail, dearest."

Hood bucks you off, legs first. Your feet fly into the air, which allows him to flip your positions. You wince, preparing for a concussion upon impact as you go down. But Hood cushions your fall and neatly rolls you over. Your back is pressed into the concrete, hands locked over your head. Hood's weight holds down your hips and legs.

He looms over you, easily holding you down. Your face grows hot.

"How did—" You squirm in his grip. "I had you!"

"Weight distribution, sweets. Tell Al—one of the Bats to add weight to your boots. They keep you light on your feet, but you were depending on them too much to hold me down, and we ain't evenly matched there."

You thrash in his grip. "Hood, I swear to fucking—"

"Easy. Don't sweat it, sweetheart. You haven't been doing this for very long. That was a good takedown, regardless. I'm impressed."

"Screw you."

He hums. You can tell he's smiling under the helmet. "Sorry, I forgot. You don't like feedback."

Hood strokes the inside of your wrist. You aren't sure he's aware he's doing it. His grip is firm but light. He's not trying to hurt you. Your pulse is in your throat.

For a moment, you're both still. Hood seems caught in a trance, like even Superman couldn't tear him away from this moment. From you. And it's not that you're afraid, you're just... you're...

"How do you know so much about me?" you blurt, because it's puzzled the whole team. "You been spying on me?"

"'Course not. Unlike your boss, I respect privacy. No, I did research. I recognized you from when you'd hang around that second Robin. Shrimpy little guy. What'd ya even see in him?"

The grief overtakes you before you can control your mouth.

"You don't know anything about me or him," you spit. "Don't fucking talk about him. He had more skill and goodness in his pinkie than you'll have in a lifetime. And you could learn a thing from him about changing a city. He'd tell you that fear alone never works."

Hood is quiet for a long moment. Then he speaks.

"Where's your distress signal?"

"Why would I tell—"

Hood shifts over you, cutting off your reply. He pulls a ziptie around your wrists. They're not even a little tight. You could probably slip out of them if you had five minutes.

"I know you're not s'posed to be out tonight," he whispers in your ear. "'S not your patrol night. Good thing you're my favorite."

You nearly swallow your tongue. "How do you—I don't—"

"Uh-huh. So you be good from now on, yeah? Wouldn't wanna have to keep tying you up like this."

You lift your chin. "We'll switch positions soon enough."

Hood snorts. "Okay, I know you heard how that soun—"

"I heard it," you say grumpily. "Just get on with it. Jerk."

"As you wish. Distress signal?"

"Collar."

Hood presses the button under your collar. Your breath hitches as his gloved fingers graze your neck.

"Oh? Does somebody like getting pinned down?"

"In your dreams."

Hood laughs. He zipties your ankles last, then sits you upright against the railing.

"Not too tight, are they?" he asks. "I know you've got a circulation problem."

You squint. "You seem to know a lot about me. Not fair that I don't know much about you, Hood."

"'S just business, honeylove," he says, scooping up his duffel. "Now I don't wanna see you in a suit anymore, comprende?"

"Or you'll what? Shoot me?"

Hood pauses, eerily still. He turns those glowing white eyes upon you. Your heart picks up.

"No," he says, so serious it startles you. "But someone else might. And I don't want you to face the same fate as your good friend Robin."

He vaults over the railing before you can respond. Your head thunks lightly as you lean back and wonder if you're really just business to the Red Hood.

(pt 2)

[reverieblondie]

Got a short and sweet one for ya! BG3 character(s) of your choice reacting to someone going, "Aw, you two look so cute together! You should date!" and Tav—the object of his/her as of yet unspoken affections—just smiles a little bashfully and says, "Yeah, that would be nice."

Sorry it took me a a minute to get to your ask! I had originally wanted to make them longer by including the dates they would go on, but I just scrapped that idea. Maybe if people are interested I could do that part but it would be after I do some more request. Anyways I hope You enjoy the fluff!

(Astarion, Gale, Halsin , Rolan, Wyll, Zevlor)

Astarion

It's always the same game between you two; since the beginning of your journey together, you two are always teasing and pushing each other closer and closer to the edge. It's frustrating that this game continues still. You two have grown closer, having shared in victories and losses, shared in laughs and tears, but despite all this, you and Astarion remained cautious… Instead of sharing your desire and confessing this connection is real, you opt to continue in your flirtatious game of teasing and keeping yourself at arm's length. Perhaps it's childish, but you both are too accustomed to the game to quit now, not when the risk could be so painful… 

Sipping on your wine, your eyes lock to Astarions, his crimson eyes watching you with a handsome smirk on his pale lips.  

"Are you staring, Astarion, coming to some realizations of the heart?" The smirk widens to a grin that flashes his dangerous fangs. Astarion can't help himself from loving the way you tease… 

"Only imagining how your blood must taste after so much wine."-clever as always in a response. 

"Sounds like you're trying to bite, giving yourself away so easily now?" you muse as you stroll casually to sit at his side, your eyes never leaving each other. 

Carefully, Astarion brushes away your hair from your neck, revealing the bruised mark left by his bite only a night ago. He can't help but lick his lips at the sight, "You're the one who gives themselves away when you ask me to feed from you." You feel your blood rush to your cheeks… He's not entirely wrong. 

Brushing your hair back over your neck, trying to hide the evidence and cover the blooming rush of blood to your face, you two are caught off guard by what sounds like a slurring Shadowheart chiming into your conversation, "Aw, you two look so cute together flirting like that. You two should date already." She says with a devious smirk. 

You roll your eyes. "Yeah, that would be nice," you say sarcastically; that would be the day… 

Astarion studies you for a moment, watching as you roll your eyes and fold your arms to guard yourself further, but he swears he catches a glimpse of something…an opening… Before you know it, you watch him downing the remainder of his wine and taking the game up a notch, "Why not go on a date? Scared after one night alone with me, you will be smitten, darling?" 

You give him a challenging look, "Maybe I will. Maybe you will be the one falling for me…" Astarion leans closer to you, "Sounds like a fun challenge… let's go out tomorrow night…"

Shadowheart can be heard gasping and giggling from the growing tension, never one to be out. Down you down your drink next and lean in close enough for only Astarion to hear you, "Fine, but the first one to fall loses… winner gets to bite the other…" Astarions hands tighten to a fist, and excitement fills his eyes with a new spark; you have yourself a deal. 

Gale

Gale's breath continues to sound shaky, and his hands become more clammy by the second… He's trying so hard to repress the thrumming in his chest, but it's proving to be quite difficult at the moment. With your body pressed so close to him…he thinks at any moment he could burst into a spectacle of himself…or blow up. It has been a while since he's absorbed something, but teaching you this spell is taking precedence now. 

 You have expressed wanting to learn magic from him. You had been intrigued that he attended the prestigious Blackstaff Academy, and despite being a fighter and not relying on magic, you had begged for some lessons from a proper wizard. Gale didn't know if it was the fact that he has always liked to teach or that it was you who was pleading oh so sweetly, but he never answered yes to a request so quickly. 

Now here you two are, the weave wrapped around you as he carefully guides your body to the proper stances, his hands on your hips that then slide to your hands praying to any god that is listening you don't not his clammy nervousness. 

He need not worry, though; the only thing you seem to be able to focus on is the feeling of magic flowing from his fingertips that spark along your skin as he moves your hands. His enchanting voice whispers incantations in your ear, making the tips burn with blush. Gale's lips are so close to your face that all you would have to do is turn your head and give him a look…or even maybe ask him… for a kiss-

 "Aw, you two look so cute together! You shouldn't waste time, Mr. Dekarios; you two should date!" The voice is the unmistakable Tarra, who has recently joined the camp and harps on Gale to shave his beard or settle down practically daily. 

Gale lets out a long groan, causing you to chuckle. The break in concentration causes the magic weave you two worked so hard to conger to break away. Gale, fully embarrassed, starts to argue with her through hissing whispers. All you can do is giggle at the adorable sight of a man arguing with his tressum as he towers over her small form.

"Mr. Dekarios, you're not getting any younger, you know. If she seems to like you even with that thing on your face, might as well go for it." Gale's face is bright red as he tries shushing her. "Tarra, could you lower your voice? I do not need you…helping!" 

Who is he kidding? He could use her nudging him along; it at least helps you finally get what you have been thinking about for a while now. In a surge of confidence, you walk over to the arguing pair, letting your voice break through their bickering: "You know, Tarra, you're right. A date would be nice… If Gale was willing…" 

The argument abruptly pauses, and you watch as Gale's face turns three shades redder. He stares at you blankly, eyes wide in disbelief. It isn't until Tarra swipes his leg that he breaks from his daze. "Don't just stare! Ask Tav out; it might be your only chance before they change their mind from your awkward gawking!"

Gale swallows his dry throat, "Meet you at the library tomorrow?" You smile and nod. "It's a date!"

Gale stands there watching your figure as you walk away…." The library…really?" "Oh shut it, Tarra, I panicked!"  

Halsin

Another accident, and you find yourself being patched up by no other than the camp's gentle druid. Halsins hazel eyes look like golden pools of honey in the firelight, and you're unsure what is heating your body more, the crackling fire or his hands as they wrap your wounded limps. Though he's a huge man and you're not exactly the definition of delicate, Halsin still treats you with softness and light touches; when you first met, you thought he would be loud and crass…but that wasn't Halsin… so full of surprises for you to discover. 

"These accidents keep happening more and more frequently… you're sure you're not just trying to find ways to spend time with me?" you feel your heart stir, and your lips curl into a grin, always so full of surprises… The most recent discovery is his unapologetic flirting… 

"Truly, I am just accident-prone. You healing me is just a perk to my affliction." Halsins eyes flash with something, and his face curls into a smile as he finishes your wrappings. "A perk, huh?" Halsins softly brushes his knuckles against your plush thighs, "I could think of better perks to indulge in if you are willing…" 

Your stomach ties itself in an excited knot; damn, he needs not to tease you; you're surely to pass out to all your blood rushing to your-…as you go to say something else, two giggling voices break your concentration. 

Shadowheart and Astarion have their eyes on you two with broad smiles. "Aw, you two look so cute together…" Astarion coos, then Shadowheart chimes in a second, "You should date..or something to that effect…" You give them a death glare, silently screaming at them not to ruin this moment as Halsin chuckles.  

Hearing Halsins laugh causes your heart to swell, and you can't help but utter your response, "Yeah, that would be nice." That makes his laughing come to a halt,  feeling your face burning in embarrassment you keep your gaze to the ground. 

"Well then…" his large hand lifts your chin, your eyes meeting his, his smile addictive, and then his voice… "Just name the date, and I will be yours." 

Lost in the moment your brain evaporates from rational thought to pure desire, "How about right now…"

"Cheeky!" Astarion calls but is promptly silenced by Shadowheart   

Halsin leans in his honeyed breath, teasing your ear, "Meet me by the river in ten minutes…" 

Rolan

He doesn't mean to stare… Rolan can't help it; you're just so magnificent… Not only are you stunning to look at, but you're also so incredibly kind. Nobody had asked you to start working at sundries you just offered after everything. Rolan couldn't believe that the gate's mighty hero wanted to have a slower-paced life by working at his newly required shop. 

Though he should, it only made sense that you would offer to help him with the shop. You had been completely smitten with him from the first moment you saw him at the grove. Your affections only grew the more your paths intertwined, so you wanted to work close by and help him. It was nearly impossible for you to be away from him. He had become one of your closest confidants and your friend. 

You hoped your affections would have been evident at this point, but Rolan still hadn't asked you out or attempted to allude to courting you; you're starting to lose hope that he ever would. Maybe fate distended you two to stay just close friends…Maybe he is meant to be in your life, just…not in the way your heart hoped… it's better to have him as a friend than not at all, right? 

You try to push down the heart-aching thought and continue to gather tomes for customers' orders. And just like fate seems to have it, the one time you need to finish the order request happens to be on that pesky wobbly shelf at the bottom of a stack right on the top shelf because, of course, it is…

Lea'zel, despite Cal's best efforts to teach her otherwise, is still learning how to stack the books properly… Rolan had given up the task of correcting her when she just clicked her teeth, stating, "As long as they are away, it should not matter, Wizard…" You would have to be a fool to try and argue with her, though Rolan did attempt…

 Putting down your stack, you struggle on tip-toes to get the tome down. Despite Rolan's warnings, you stand on the bottom shelf for just the slightest high boost, then it starts to tip…and it's too late to avoid crashing down. Squeezing your eyes shut to brace for the pain of being toppled by books, you find that you don't feel books hitting you. You feel a warmth on your back and a familiar hand on your shoulder.

Looking up, you see Rolan pushing the wobbly furniture back in place as he keeps you pinned between him and the shelf. Turning around, you smile at him as your dashing savior this time around. Rolan gives you a smile in return, but before he can playfully chastise you for ignoring his warnings, a sharp wolf whistle breaks your focus. 

"Aw, you two look so cute together like that. You should date!" Rolan's face gets redder, and you feel your voice squeak out of you in surprise. Before he can continue taunting, Lea'zel pinches his ear and drags him off, muttering, "Let them come to their senses finally." Of course, they both noticed before you two did.

In a whisper, you find some courage. "Yeah, a date would be nice…" Your face is as bright red as his. Still pinned, he leans down closer, his hand moving down your arm. "Go out with me on a date…" You bite your lip in excitement. With an eager nod, you say yes. Finally, he asked. 

Wyll

You could have asked anyone to spare with you, but Wyll was by far your favorite, and not only because he was absolutely handsome, but also because he was an incredible fighter. Wyll always kept you on your toes and even had some good one-liners and witty remarks. Plus, your mind often wanders back to that time he swatted your rear with the blunt side of his sword to taunt you; a shiver still races down your spine at the thought of some more Wyll spankings…

You two had been clashing swords and swapping excited grins during this match. Finally, with a swift movement, you're able to bat away his weapon and swiftly sweep his legs, making him crash to the ground. You're quick to get on top of him and wrestle with him till, finally, you're getting both his wrists over his head. Your excitement is shown through your smile, matched by Wyll, as your body presses closer to his to keep him pinned and at your mercy.  

"What is this? Four to two? You're off your game, Blade of Frontiers." You taunt with a devious smirk. "How do you know you're not right where I want you?" Wyll squirms, making you tighten your grip. You lean down to his face to tease back, but a sharp whistle from Karlach stops you two. "Aw, You two look so cute together~ You should go on a date…or something…" She gives a wink before walking away. 

Wyll feels himself blush but smiles as he sees the red rush on your cheeks. You see his grin, and you can't help but smile back down at him. "Yeah, that would be nice." Your sultry words make Wyll's heart feel like it could burst. Leaning down to his lips, Wyll takes the opportunity to free his hands and pull you closer, then flips you to your back, pinning you down now. 

"Go out with me…call me old fashioned, but I think I should take you for a date before I ravish you…" With words like that, how could you not agree? 

Zevlor

Old habits die hard…and Zevlor's habit is taking long walks around the city, something similar to perimeter checks he used to do back in the day. It's hard to go from having daily routines to nothing strenuous, so he made his walks part of his day, even though walking in a city you see every day dulls after a while. 

Though lately, those once quiet walks filled with reflection are a lot more enjoyable now that you have joined him. At first, Zevlor was unsure why you would want to take the sundown walks with him. But he enjoyed your company with him too much to ask at the risk of scaring you off. It's not like you would be interested in an older man like him anyway. It's Best not to get his hopes up.

 Little does he know, you're completely enamored with him. He could read a dictionary or do something as dull as pulling weeds, and you would still find a way to include yourself just to be close to him. So when you learned about his daily walks, you were sure to invite yourself. Zevlor, ever the kind soul, was just happy for the company. Your two took your walks together to talk about your philosophy on life, your past, and, much to your delight, some ideal gossip. Zevlor taunted you for being nosy, but you defended yourself by saying that it's always good for a person to be aware of a city's dealings, even if they might seem small. 

Zevlor treasured these small moments with you, listening to your endless chatting and hopeful ideas. Sometimes, you would even pass some jokes to get him to laugh. But today's walk was different. He was going to put his feelings forward. Was he going to confess? No… he's too shy for that. He was just going to see if he could hold your hand. That should be innocent enough, right?

 While on the walk, you're watching the setting sun shine against his red skin, making the fires of his eyes look golden. You two have slowly started to drift closer and closer, hands softly brushing together, conversation flowing. Then, right as Zevlor is working up the nerve to reach for your hand, he hears someone call both your names. 

Turning, you see a cozy-looking Alfria and Lakrissa, hand in hand. "Aw, you two look so cute together! You should date!" Alfria chimes before Lakrissa nudges her girlfriend not to tease. Zevlor feels his face turn marron before quickly clasping his hands behind his back. You think yourself equally blush before smiling and calling back to the two girls, "Yeah, that would be nice!"

The two girls give each other a look before they grin ear to ear at Zevlor's flushed expression. They quickly stroll away to let Zevlor make his next move. With a deep breath, Zevlor grounds himself before straightening his posture and turning to you. "Tav, would you do me the honor and accompany me on a date tomorrow evening…"

You try to bite back your excitement, but with his blushing face and your heart squeezing, you can't help yourself; you feel like you could explode, "Yes! ah…I mean…I think that sounds absolutely lovely Zev…" He hopes you don't notice how his tail starts to wag, and you hope he doesn't see when you shoot the two girls a thumbs up. 

[angelwings-crossbowstrings]

Y/N: How stupid do you think I am?!

Daryl: Ya really want a honest answer to that?

Y/N, scowling: You make my head hurt.

Daryl: Nah, ain’t me. S’your brain tryin’ to understand how stupid ya are.

Y/N: …

Y/N: Okay, even I have to admit that was clever.

Daryl: Course it was. I ain’t the stupid one.

Carol, listening from a few feet away with Rosita: I can’t believe he’s actually flirting! He’s come a long way!

Rosita: That was flirting?!

[telvess]

Reader using pick-up lines on them

chaotic writing for the fun

Hades

“You should be arrested for stealing my heart!”

Pick-up lines, hmm? Alright, fine, but did you have to use the most pathetic, the cheesiest one? Hades is way too elegant for such a poor tasted attempt, he actually feels offended by your words.

Your first impression is horrible. Hades silently judges you. Of course, he is too classy to make any snarky comments, but you can tell by his cold, indifferent look that he has lost all interest in your company. At this point, he is more of a Poseidon than his brother himself.

If you aren’t the type of person who gives up easily and still tries to flirt… just stop. The best you can get from him would be „yes”, „no” or a nod of the head.

Buddha

“You see my friend over there? She want to know if you think I'm cute.”

Buddha stares at you for a long moment, then looks over your shoulder to check out your friend (who you obviously made up), then then returns to you. His expression is blunt, maybe slightly bored. Totally makes you lose the confidence you had a moment ago as you watch him lazily suck a lollipop and pierce you through with his unimpressed glare.

The worst he can say is „no”, right? Well, who would have thought that the enlightened mind of Buddha would prove otherwise. A drawn-out silence makes you uncomfortable and you start to squirm under his gaze, not ready for that unfazed attitude of his…

Once the confidence you felt approached him vanished and you are ready to leave as quickly as possible, Buddha begins to laugh historically. You jump up a little and stare at him confused. It takes him a while to calm down, but when he does, he looks at you seriously again and says „tell your friend I find ya cute” with the most annoying smirk in the entire universe.

Susanoo

“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”

Susanoo watches you with harsh expression, his eyebrows raising as your attitude doesn’t change. You just stand in front of him and wait for his answer. Kinda hot, he has to admit.

He is amused by this shitty attempt, but still has to admit that it takes some balls to say something so crappy to his face. You’re bold, stupid and definitely not in your right mind.

He would definitely address all of the above and then… respond to you with an even cheaper pickup line that he thinks sounds good. He is very proud of himself and oblivious to the point that it matches his intimidating aura.

Susanoo likes a person who isn’t concerned with what everyone think of them, but he is also a person who expects others to submit to his will, which makes him rather difficult person to flirt with, demanding from you to adapt to his confusing preferences.

Nikola

“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.”

BUAHAHAHAHA! HE WOULDN’T GET IT 100%!

He looks at you very confused at first, then he puts to work all of his braincells trying to figure out what you meant. Is this some kind of puzzle? Mystery? It’s clearly impressive, because he struggles to solve it!

Please, stop the brainstorming session before he starts writing his thought on the board and calls members of the science crew asking for the consultations.

After yours short explanation (which probably burnt your soul to the bones with embarrassment) Nikola nods, compliments your clever attempt and… continues what he was doing before this whole masquerade started, oblivious to the fact you just hit on him. So you just stand there and wait for something, but you last barely several dozen seconds before you run away to hide somewhere far, far away.

Much to your surprise, Nikola visits you the next day and invites you for coffee, bluntly.

Hermes

“Can I put my hand on your thigh, where it belongs?”

You sit next to him and get straight to the point. No hesitation, no shame in your eyes. Hermes’ eyes widen for a millisecond as the words leave your lips. Oh? Oh? Oh? He couldn’t help but let his lips stretch into a wide smile, trying to cover his mouth with his hand as a single chuckle escapes his lips.

When he pulls himself together, Hermes lets his playful nature take over. So you thought you were flirty? Hermes is too smart and too cunning to allow you triumph for long. Even if he isn’t interested, he will leave you with a dry mouth and wet panties. Hermes uses the tongue as smoothly as he uses the violin.

Apollo

“I'm sorry, were you talking to me?” He denies, “Well, would you like to?”

My, my, look at you! Approaching the Sun God just like this? Apollo is impressed. In fact, because of how intimidating he is, it's not often that others surprise him with such bravado. Usually they just treat him as something as intangible as the rays of the sun, bathing in his glory, praising him as a celestial being, not as a person. You - on the other hand - are a breath of fresh air.

Once the first shock wears off, his entire figure begins to glow and he gives you the most breathtaking smile you will ever see. From that point on, everything he does comes so naturally that it makes you lose yourself. After making great first impression, you end up like everyone else: Apollo wraps you around his little finger and before you know it, you just sit there and listen to his melodious voice as if you are bewitched. The man is too charming.

Poseidon

“Are you a magician? Because when I look at you, everyone else disappears.”

Peasant. Get out.

You aren’t clever. You aren’t brave. You aren’t impressive. The only person that will disappear is gonna be you, if you don’t remove yourself in the next 3 seconds.

Whoever didn’t stop you from approaching Poseidon like this, definitely doesn’t wish you well.

Kojirō

“Aren't you tired? From running through my mind all day?”

The man gives you surprised look, and moment later he presents you his widest smile. Sasaki has no clue what to say, so he just stands before you, rubbing his neck and blushing like teenage girl. He may stammers out a few words of thanks, but you really shouldn’t hope for more. Kojirō is simply not used to compliments, so even the simplest pick-up line can rock his world.

Please, ask him about swordsmanship, because it’s probably the only thing he can talk about while his brain fries in the skull.

Once Kojirō pulls himself together, he turns out to be exactly as carefree and friendly as you expected. The longer you two interact, the more open and less awkward he becomes.

Ares

“Do you have a name, or can I just call you 'mine'?”

Did you just? Huh???

Ares blinks a few times before his brain process information. He can’t believe you said something like that! Do you even know who you are talking to? He is Ares, the God of War! One of the twelve Gods of Olympus and son of Zeus! He deserves more respect, not some pathetic, human-alike attempt at flirting. He shouts all this in your face, making a big scene and ridiculing you in front of the others gods. For a moment he’s proud of himself, but your teary eyes quickly put him in a less mighty state.

To make things worse, you literally run away. At first Ares tries to ignore the feeling of guilt in his chest, pretending that your reaction was childish and exaggerated, but all he needs is Hermes to make a little remark (“Poor thing, it seems she gave her all to speak up.”) to make Ares’ face red.

He mutters some lame excuse to leave and starts looking for you. He still thinks your attempt was awful, but maybe - just maybe - his heart skips a beat knowing that some pretty miss thinks so highly of him.

Jack

“If music be the food of love, let’s have a feast together.”

Okay, this man isn’t used to hearing compliments, let alone hitting on him. Jack is a little shocked, not because he doesn’t understand you, but because you actually chose him. He doesn’t recognize you, but to his great surprise you seem to know a little about him. After all, you referred to Shakespeare. It couldn't have been an accident, right?

“Pardon me, lady?” is probably the first thing out of Jack's mouth as he’s still processing what you’ve said, but he quickly snaps out of his surprise, “Forgive me, where are my manners?”

Jack introduces himself properly, takes off the hat and bows like a gentleman. He then politely asks for your name, still fluttered that you gave him a chance.

Thor

“Did you do something to my eyes? I can't seem to take them off you.”

“…”

Neither Thor nor Mjölnir budge. Well, this is definitely something new; no one has ever approached Thor this way before, so he has to give you some points for creativity. However, don’t expect anything as Thor isn’t interested in continuing the conversation, so it’s up to you if you are interested in one-sided interaction.

Loki

“Well, here I am! What are your other two wishes?”

Loki stares at you without the slightest sign of interest, twirling strand of hair around his finger. He seems distant, almost like he didn’t hear you. Then he flinches, as if snapped out of trance. His face changes in a split second: a wide, forced smile and squinting eyes screaming at you to evacuate, because you’ve hit on the wrong guy. “Do you have a death wish, woman?” Loki asks, his voice has the sweetest tone that tickles your ears, but his words spew poison…

Loki is capricious. I don’t think it’s a matter of wrong pick-up line, it's rather more a matter of right timing. But even if you choose a bad moment to approach him, he probably wouldn’t hurt you (physically) - he prefers to scare others, toy with their fear than kill them.

On the other hand, if your timing is right, then you would still bounce off the wall, because Loki doesn’t intent to give you a straightforward answer; he would like to play with you, confuse you with the mixed signals he sends. He wants a reaction from you, entertain him. If you are cocky - his goal is to crush your self-confidence. Shy? Prepare for blushing, squealing and stuttering. Ah, you think you’re being funny here? Loki will gladly turn your smile into tears.

[justroaminground]

hot mess (Dean Winchester x Reader)

Weeeeelll, hi and hello!

here i am back with another one shot! hehe i already would like to say sorry, i don't know where that came from! i just hope you enjoy it.

summary: sam and dean are family friends and sam decides to join your dad on an investigation, while you stay back with dean. ;) you basically teas him until he can not control himself any longer..whopsi

warnings: just smut, FILTHY smut!, age gap (but legal), creampie, no protection used,

_______________________________________________

"well, i guess we have to wait then." you said while exhaling loudly, walking from the door back to the kitchen table where dean was sitting.

one of his hands rested on the table, holding a beer, while the other hand was resting on his thigh. when you turned around from the door to dean, you caught him checking you out. his gaze immediately went from your body back onto the floor and he nibbled on his lower lip.

your dad and sam just took of, checking out a hint. the 4 of you were solving a case and your dad needed some back up. sam and your dad were on the way, breaking into a police station to get some evidence. knowing this would take quiet a while, you had to spent the time with dean in your house.

dean never knew when to stop hitting on woman, but he never dared to talk to you that way. knowing your dad, his respect for your dad was unbelievable high. you sure as hell were exactly his type and the two of you had some hot flirts, but it never got any further. unfortunately.

you walked over to the fridge, to get yourself another beer.

"don't think you should be drinking right now y/n" dean spoke up.

"dad's not her and i am pretty sure they won't need us." you shrugged and opened it up. "cheers" you smiled sweetly while gesturing him to drink with you.

"what makes you so sure?" he asked with a interested expression.

swallowing the first gulp of the beer. you sat right opposite of him on at the table. you placed the beer on the table and held it with both hands.

"i feel like your brother is..very good at what he's doin' ya know?" you explained to him and looked straight into his eyes.

loosening the grip with one hand from the beer bottle you placed one finger on the bottleneck and stroke it a little to remove the water drops. since the beer was so cold and the room itself was pretty hot, there formed water drops on the bottle and you always had the ick to remove them.

"what? my brother seems to be a better help than i am?" dean smirked and tried to provoke you into saying something nice about him.

a grin formed on your lips and you decided to act exactly against his will. "well i gotta admit. it may does not seem like it, but some girls are into nerds dean." you confessed and bit your lower lip.

before he was able to say something, he watched your fingers. sliding over the bottle. dean couldn't help, but his filthy thoughts about you just raced through his mind. comprehending what you just said, his jaw clenched and his eyes shot from the bottle back up to you.

seeing this very raw side of him, made you shiver. the little hairs on your neck stood up and you pressed your thighs together. feeling your pussy getting a heartbeat.

dean already had his next words on his tongue, ready to spit them out. "let me convince you otherwise", but he kept them to himself. he broke the very intense eye contact and laughed quietly. one side of him, wanted to care for you so bad, but his logical thinking told him otherwise. he could possibly be your father. thing's just got hard for him, because you were a clever, attractive young woman, being very grown up for your age.

"well luckily i do not have to understand that. ignoring that he is even older than you are young lady! " dean said and leaned back against the chair. relaxing again, trying to calm the very tensed atmosphere.

a little bit of dissatisfaction made itself noticeable in your body. you wanted him so bad, you were literally craving for this man. literally man. he was the same age as your dad was, the two of you had a pretty rough age gap, but instead of being turned of, you were even more turned on. knowing you were a little freak sometimes, you weren't even ashamed of living your freaky side. the goal of tonight was getting fucked by him. whatever it needed..

"is that a problem?" you asked innocently and raised an eyebrow.

"what?" dean asked, looking back at you.

"the age gap?" you asked and took another sip of your beer.

he wanted to say something, but you were able to see he thought about it for a moment again. his lips pointed and formed into a laugh. he shook his head and once again switched his gaze from you to the floor and back up at you.

"i do think it is a problem." he confirmed and the expression on his face got more serious.

"oh..what a shame." you whispered and smirked. sipping once again on your bottle. grinning against the bottle opening, putting the beer down onto the table you got up. "luckily i don't" you got up and slowly walked along the long side of the table. your fingertips slowly slid over the table top.

"i don't like where this is going y/n" dean said while giving you a serious stare.

"don't look at me like that dean.." you pouted, while bitting your lower lip once again. you stopped right in front of him. "you're scaring me.." walking slowly around him, stopping right behind him.

"what are you trying?" dean tried to stay calm and play it off cool. he kept his gaze very persistent on his beer and fiddled the label off.

placing your hands on his shoulders, the smirk on your face grew and you leaned down to whisper into his ear. "keep on acting like that." your hands stroke further down onto his chest.

dean inhaled a sharp breath and his hands immediately grabbed yours, pushing them of. he stoop up and faced you. "stop it y/n!" he looked at you and raised his voice a bit.

not being a bit impressed by his anger issues, but got even more turned on. "make me." you talked very calmly back and kept the intense eye contact with him. quickly you pushed the chair aside and fell to your knees. still holding the eye contact with dean, you were going all in. wanting to feel his hands so badly on your body you swore to yourself you would drive this man crazy.

being very impressed by what you just did, his eyes widened and his jaw clenched even harder. by now his molars, must definitely be hurting. his strong and large hands rolled into fists and he fought so hard with himself, simply watching you.

"pretty please, dean." you looked at him with your doll like eyes and licked your lower lip. "will you care for me? at least that's what my dad wanted you to do.." a soft, pleading whisper left your lips and your hands reached for his belt.

"you know damn well, this is absolutely wrong!" dean hissed and his breathing got faster than it used to be.his hand once again grabbed yours, but before he was able to push you off, you pushed him forcefully back against the table and his hands immediately grabbed the edge of the table. distracting him with your quick move, you opened up his belt and opened up his jeans. butting one hand onto his growing member you smirked up at his scattered face.

"fuck!" dean clearly cursed out. his fingers clawed so tight onto the edge of the table, his knuckles turned white. he wanted to push you off, knowing this is a huge taboo, but he just couldn't. your soft hand against his crotch just felt to fucking good. he no longer knew what was wrong or right. how could something so filthy and wrong, feel so good and erotic at the same time? his mind was spinning and he couldn't help himself, but enjoy your touch.

your hand stroke along his hard cock, pressing against his jeans and you just admired this beautiful man. his facial expression still showed how hard he was fighting with his morals, but you knew he will be braking in. "don't make this so hard on yourself dean.." your voice broke through to him.

"h-how am i supposed to?! a fucking hot teen is kneeling right in front of me, pleading to be fucked, while i am supposed to take care for her" deans thoughts rushed unfiltered from his mind, out of his mouth and right when he was finished you already pulled down his jeans and boxers. admiring his rock hard cock, your mouth already craved tasting him.

not hesitating for a moment you took him into your mouth and whimpered satisfied against his tip. your big round eyes, looked up at him and his eyes widened in shock. his mouth fell open and against his will he loved it. he just loved how good your mouth felt around his cock. "holy shit y/n" he moaned out and his low and husky voice made you even more wet.

being motivated by his reaction, you opened your mouth even a bit more and almost fit him completely in. moving your head a bit slower at the beginning, your hands still rested on his thighs slightly holding onto him. his head fell back into his neck and he moaned in relief.

one of his hands found their way into your hair and that little touch made your body react so strong you moaned against his cock. his fingers grabbed your hair just the right way and he pushed your needy down against his length.

"you're such a whore for me y/n aren't you?" dean stated and held you down for a few seconds onto his cock. "giving yourself like that to me, a man the same age as your dad. what a filthy little whore you are.."he continued and let go of your head.

talking him out of your mouth with a "bloop", you spit into your hand and worked his length with your hand. "if you only knew how may wet dreams i had of you.." your eyes mirrored the lust from your body. wearing the dirtiest smile on your lips.

dark lust formed in deans eyes and he grabbed your hair, pulling your head back, making you look up at him and he leaned down onto your level. being shocked by this move you looked at him, switching your expression from filthy back to the most innocent angel you were.

"open your mouth." dean demanded.

you opened your mouth without a inch of hesitation. his other hand grabbed your face and he spit into your mouth. your mind stopped functioning at this exact moment and everything just felt like pure ecstasy right now. before you knew it, your lips crashed hungrily against his lips and kissed him slutty. pressing your body needy up against his body, he immediately pulled you off the floor and placed you rough on the table. a moan escaped from you lips into the kiss and he began to open up your jeans.

you moved your body just the right ways to help him undress you. within seconds you found yourself naked winding in his grip, trying to get more and more of him. the only thing he still wore, was his flannel. it was all unbuttoned and exposed his lean upper body. your hands explored every inch of his body and your legs were curled around his waist. his cock was pressed against your wet pussy and you couldn't help but wiggle your hips, wanting to feel him finally inside you.

the two of you were still exchanging wet and passionate kisses. his hands wandered from your cheeks down to your shoulders, softly sliding further down to your breasts. dean massaged them, with his huge hands, leaving you a hot mess beneath him.

"f-fuck me please.." you moaned against his lips and looked up at him. your lips were red and swollen from all the kissing and sucking. your eyes were watery from all the arousal building up in your body, you couldn't keep it together anymore.

"i will..don't you worry about that.." dean moaned against your neck and his hungry lips kissed their way down to your breast. he left wet kisses on your right breast. licking and kissing you nipple. he took his time and worked your breast just the right way to drive you even more crazy.

his hands held your safely against his body and you pressed your hip more against his. "i-i am begging you dean.." you started off once again and your had a hard time breathing. "fuck me, use me already.." you whimpered and gave yourself completely away in his hands.

"how bad do you want it..?" he loosened his grip a bit around you and smirked. his hand rested on your tummy and he pushed you back onto the table. you supported yourself on your elbows and looked up at him. "very very bad." you whimpered and bit your lower lip. his hand on your tummy slowly stroke further down, until he reached your bellybutton. he stopped right there and grabbed your hip.

"look at yourself..spreading your legs for me, being such a wet mess for me.."he smirked while taking in every inch of you beneath him. his words gave you goosebumps and you took a sharp breath in.

loving your reaction, he took his cock into his free hand and touched your clit with it. drawing little circles.

"not gonna lie. you don't know how my times..i imagined that tight, pink pussy, stretching just perfectly around my cock." he continued and you grabbed as hard as you could into the table. your hands started to shake a bit and you couldn't believe what he just said. "d-dean stop the teasing please.." you moaned out and your voice got a bit higher. moaning like a little angel beneath his touch you took every second in.

"just one more thing.." he guided his tip along your slit further down to your entrance. you quickly nodded your head and watched his lips hungrily in need of what was that one thing, keeping you away from feeling his cock finally inside you.

"let's keep this our dirty lil secret.." he whispered and his grip on your hips got tighter. nodding like crazy you confirmed to him and before you were able to prepare yourself, he trusted his length into you.

all the feelings and hunger that built up, completely wrecked you right now. feeling his thick and long cock, fucking you deeply you just couldn't comprehend it. your body felt like drugged from all the feelings rushing through you. him pushing into you very deeply, each thrust hits the right spot. making you weaker with every thrust. your body fell back onto the table and one hand grabbed your breast. the other one rested on your lower tummy, feeling him moving inside you. your vision got a blurred and your senses felt ten times more intense. everything felt more intense.

his strong arms wrapped around your body and pressed you safely against his. one hand held you onto him and the other one rested on the table to support him. he rested his forehead onto yours and kept moving inside you. moans, whispers as well as relieving gasps filled the room.

"open those pretty eyes angel" dean breathed out heavily and wanted to be sure you're okey.

opening your eyes you looked up into his eyes and couldn't help, but moan. "y-you're fucking me so good.." your voice cracked and you clawed one hand into his shoulder and the other one into his back. at this point he wasn't able to control himself any longer and he moved your body a bit more to the edge of the table. making you more accessible for him. he pushed himself as far as he could into you. his trust got a bit slower, but each time he made sure to push you down onto his cock, while trusting into you.

this just drove you crazy and you tried to hold up the eye contact. "i- i can't hold it in any longer dean.." you whimpered and already felt your abdomen twitch.

"cum for me." he whispered against your lips and kissed you softly but needy. him giving you the confirmation to cum, send you over the edge and you stopped holding it back any longer. a wave of electricity drove through your body and it released itself. your walls tightened up, making dean moan in surprise as he couldn't held it back himself any longer. he came into you and for a minute the both of you stayed in this position.

gently he picked you up, pulling himself out of you, walking over to the living room. he sat down and held you onto his lap. your head rested on his chest and he placed a kiss on your temple.

taking the time you needed to get back from your high you just laid there in his arms. your body still felt weak and sore, but it was okey. it was exactly what you craved. dean on the other hand just cared for you, making sure you were okey and he didn't go to hard on you.

"you okey..?" he whispered and looked at you. stroking your arm.

"just fine.." you gave back and kissed his shoulder. "i hate to admit it, but we should probably get dressed.."you added and looked up at him.

"pretty sure they're going to be back soon, yeah. but i just wanted to be sure you're okey." dean explained and hugged you a bit more against his body.

after a few minutes, the both of you got up and one after the other took a quick shower. you stayed in the living room while dean was in the kitchen. just as the two of you settled, the door swung open and sam, as well as you dad came in.

"unfortunately a dead end." sam said and rolled his eyes in exhaustion.

"did the two of you maybe found anything?!" your dad added desperately.

"uhm..well..no not really..honestly we hoped you guess would be successful.." dean kinda stammered and licked his lower lip.

sam raised and eyebrow and looked at dean.

"well then, let's continue the search." your dad said, not thinking anything while grabbing a bear and sitting down onto the table. searching the police files once again.

"seriously dude?!" sam whispered very very quietly, so only dean would be able to hear him. he already knew that was going on.

dean just smirked and shrugged his shoulders. looking over to you in the living room. you laid there, watching tv in your pj's and smiled innocently at the two of them. not knowing what they just talked about.

[wisteriaiswriting]

Sigma, Lúcio, Mei, Moira courting an intelligent reader who doesn't get their flirting/courting signs

Doesn’t Understand Their Flirting

Words: 671

Honestly he won’t realize his feelings for the first bit, only when Moira asks he comes to terms.

With him it’s pretty easy to forget about, everything really. It seems like he has experience pursuing people, but he really doesn’t.

Kinda shy and flustered during his confession, but he gets through and tells you.

***

“Y/N, I need to tell you something.” “Are you okay Siebren?” His face flushed at your yours, eyes looking away for a second before returning. “I’m fine, but I need you to realize what you do to me.” Confused, you let him continue.

“Whenever you’re around everything seems to disappear, they go quiet and I can focus.” As the words fell out of his mouth, your own face flushed. “I believe I love you Y/N.” “Sibren…” Words unstable with your emotions. “I love you too!”

No one is really surprised that you don’t get his flirting attempts, they’re not even sure some of them can actually be counted.

His main attempts are music based; making you dedicated playlists, recommending some, and he’s even made songs based on you, even describing you in them.

In the end he’s flustered but confronts you about it, stuttering as you just stare at him.

***

“Would you want to uh – ahem, why is this so hard?” “Spit it out Lúcio.” He started hopping from leg to leg slightly, hyping himself up. “Não pare agora, Y/N, would you want to go on a date!”

Never stopping his movement when he looked at you, finding you paused in your work. Did he overstep? Read the signs wrong? “How didn’t I realize this?” “Wha–” Pushing yourself away from the counter and towards Lúcio. “I thought I was smarter than this, but yes.”

“YEAH! Oh – uh, sorry.”

She tries, really, but it’s likely that she’ll need to get help from the others.

Her style of courting is kinda subtle, which doesn’t help; spending time with you, inviting you out and even cooking for you.

Slowly builds her confidence, handing you a small box full of your favourite snacks.

***

“Oh, Y/N!” “Lena, what do you need?” “Mei here wanted to tell ya something!” “Lena!” Tilting your head slightly towards Mei, “You do know you can tell me anything?” As she took a deep breath Tracer left, leaving Mei to fend for herself, which had her sighing.

“I kinda wanted more time to prepare…” “Oh, we don’t have to do it now.” “NO! I mean – it’s probably better if I do it now.” Rubbing her hands together as she figured out her words, “Y/N, I– Snowball!” The drone had floated around until they bumped into you, dropping into your hands.

“Sorry about that…” “Mei don’t worry.” Grabbing her hand to guide the pair of you into another room.

This will not fly with her for very long.

While in the beginning she’ll find it entertaining, trying different ways to get your attention and for you to understand the signs.

When she eventually confesses, it’s blunt and straight to the point.

***

Today wasn’t your best, as if the world came together to collectly fuck you over. But now that the moon has risen and everyone (Most people, knowing this group.) had gone to bed, you finally had time to catch up on all your work. Stepping into your workshop to find, the previously scattered pile of paper was now neatly stacked, and filled out.

As you went through it the door behind you opened, revealing Moira. In her hand was a small slip of paper, passing it over to you when she was in range. “For someone so clever, you sure are dense.” “Excuse me?” “Not yet,” Stepping slightly closer, “You do realise I’ve been flirting, no, courting you?”

As soon as the words left her mouth you actually looked at the paper, on it was an address and a time. “Clearly you didn’t.” “Really?” Brushing off your response, “Please arrive at that address tomorrow.” “What about our work?” “It’s all taken care of.”

[intheshadowsbehindyou]

Okay, got a weird one for ya~ So I have ASD, meaning I can sometimes react oddly to social things, or actions. One of these is that whenever I see seggs scenes in movies, I start laughing. Like seggs in movies, even if it’s not meant to be funny, is just HILARIOUS to me. Sometimes I even explain between laughter why it’s so hilarious, like “Oh my gods WHAT IS THAT NOISE??? MY GUY, you a tractor or some sh!t??? HA!”. Would you be willing to take a request for mercs having movie night, only for their crush to start wheezing and laughing so hard they can barely speak at the seggs scene in the movie?

The TF2 Mercs with somebody who thinks actors acting sex in movies is understandably hilarious

WARNING: sex!!!! (Funny)

Scout:

- Confused at first. Jeremy’s the type of person to taunt the characters and make clever quips during the whole movie to make you laugh. Nothing comes close to your laughter at this sex scene though. Suddenly he picks up on it and begins laughing too. Your reaction is kind of understandable. It seems to be a very forced and over the top performance.

- “Holyyy shit, I wanted to be an actor as a kid, but i’m not one for those frickin theater kid losers. Kinda glad I didn’t go through with it, now.” Typical scout acting like a highschool bully. You can tell he was the type of sportsy jock to shove nerds into lockers. He takes great pleasure in roasting the people on screen with you.

- Overall a solid 9/10 experience. One point taken away because he’s a massive prick and goes way too over the top with his cruel jokes sometimes. You have to lightly slap the side of his arm at one point because he’s somehow coming up with new slurs for hollywood goers that don’t even exist in the english dictionary to begin with.

—————————————————————————-

Soldier:

- Ayo?

- Lifts his helmet up and looks at you for a second. “What’s so funny, private?” He asks, and but of course you’re laughing so hard you fall onto his chest and cling to him. Your laughter is very much appreciated nonetheless. Seeing somebody he loves so happy is causing butterflies in his stomach. Even if he doesn’t quite understand it. Laughter is a beautiful and positive thing.

- He’s a very aged man, and surviving WW2 gave him a lot of life experience. Essentially convinced that sex jokes are somehow crude. But let’s be honest, this is soldier we’re talking about here. He never keeps his word and although he tries to keep a straight face, his younger self comes through and he has to let out an unholy burst of laughter in response to hearing the girl’s performance upon getting her titties gripped. Congrats on cracking his US Army General persona.

—————————————————————————-

Demoman:

- Too drunk to even process why you’re laughing for a spilt second but then it suddenly dawns on him you might be reacting this way because your brain chemistry is different than his. Demoman is more of an explosives chemist guy, but he’s somewhat taught that people act differently due to neurological function. Chemicals, brain shit, and whatever the hell else. He’s too tired to remember. He begins wondering what would happen if brain chemicals were flammable. That would be quite unfortunate. Fortunate for him though.

- You fall onto his lap laughing and that’s what knocks him out of his incoherent descent down the stupid idiot rabbit hole. He puts his hand in your hair and smiles warmly. Dazed, and barely even awake. He even chuckles a little with you despite his exhaustion. Movie nights always seem to get him tired because it’s usually at the end of a hard work day.

- “I can show you a time more embarrassin, tho. In the morning.” He flirts. Knowing full well he’ll have such a bad hang over, he won’t even consider getting his ass up to kiss you. You glare at him, and you wonder just how the hell a sex scene in a movie out of all things can get him horny. The look in his eye doesn’t lie though. Wow, he sets some pretty low standards for porn. Also, you’re really scared what he means by more embarrassing.

————————————————————————-

Engineer:

- He looks away during the entire sex scene and that’s essentially what makes you laugh even harder. His southern upbringing is honestly borderline sad. The idea that he can be “impure” for witnessing such “sacred” acts. Even when somebody’s pretending for a movie. You make fun of him and he’s just sitting there grumpily shielding his eyes with his gloved hand. It’s not even an explicit scene.

- Suppressing something doesn’t help, and everybody knows that quite well. He looks between his fingers to see if the scene has ended yet. Maybe just a peak wouldn’t hurt? He’s an adult after all! ARGH! NO! He covers his eyes again… Okay maybe just another peak. He thinks your humor is just juvenile and there’s nothing wrong with that in his opinion. it’s always admirable when somebody decides to maintain their innocence. There is absolutely no judgment from him.

- Over time he gets more used to watching stuff like this with you, but he never laughs. He acts like a deer in headlights the entire time. Overall, if you act like the quote on quote “way you shouldn’t” then I assure you he’ll be understanding and keep an open mind.

————————————————————————

Heavy:

- Laughing at a sex scene? Eh. He doesn’t care what you laugh at or why. He finds plenty of stuff like that funny but ceases to laugh sometimes. He can laugh for certain, but for some reason there are moments where he doesn’t act accordingly and laugh at a joke. Perhaps you two are the same in that regard?

- Stares blankly at the screen the entire time despite finding hilarity in your response to the poor performance. He’s internally laughing on the inside but it just won’t come out of his mouth. As a result he’s kind of offended at his brain for failing him once again. You stop for a second and wonder if he’s annoyed, but then he turns and says “Sometimes Heavy laughs on the inside and he doesn’t know why.” His expression lacks emotion as always. “That’s fine.” You say, shrugging. This finally gets a response out of him and he looks to the ground and frowns.

- He feels frustrated and kind of guilty he can’t emote like he used to as a kid. This type of deadpan behavior moreso comes from his traumatic life. He’s unconsciously taught himself to stay stoic. Even when he’s supposed to be having fun with you. You lean on his arm to rest assure him you struggle with it differently. In verbose, he’s not mad at you. He becomes angry at himself.

————————————————————————

Pyro:

- You’re laughing so hard that they find your behavior adorable. They find you quite stunning in this moment and immediately hug you to fulfill that random need for physical contact. He can’t help it! You’re just so cute when you laugh! You’re like a small kitten to them. Fuck the stupid movie. Both their eyes are on you right now and they don’t want them to be anywhere else.

- They are baby talking you, and calling you petnames. This sudden shift in Pyro’s behavior makes you laugh more due to the absurdity of their cute aggression. Who the hell finds their crush laughing at a sex scene to be attractive? Apparently Pyro. Pyro’s not really one to pay attention during scenes like this anyway so they find it quite easy to do so. It’s always just pointless filler to appease the horny people. Not to mention sort of setting unrealistic expectations. (Yes, Pyro is smart enough to know this. They are smart enough to run a company, therefore smart enough to harshly critique the movie industry.)

- It is absolutely nothing but sunshine and rainbows to them when you’re happy. It’s lighting up the fiery flame in their heart to see you so satisfied. The scenes are absolutely embarrassing as shit and Pyro hates them, but they’d be glad to show you more bad movies and eat candy while basking in their favorite sound: your happiness. Everything is better with someone you love.

—————————————————————————-

Sniper:

- Um.. Is this guy even alive right now? Hellooooo? Sniper? He isn’t reacting to anything at all and you have no clue what’s happening behind those sunglasses of his. Why’s he wearing them inside, anyway? He claims it’s because the TV hurts his eyes but he’s so timid that, that has to be a lie. You’re laughing your ass off, meanwhile this guy’s brain is in outer space or some shit.

- In fact you get kind of concerned and stop laughing. “Mundy?” You ask. Your concern grows when he doesn’t move. Then his head sloooowly cocks to the side to look at you. There are some big exasperated/disappointed dad vibes coming from this man. “You can’t be serious, you actually find this funny?” He asks. He’s just messing with you of course and it’s obvious his behavior isn’t meant to be taken seriously.

- “Yeah!” You respond, laughing even more as he rubs his own temples and leans his face on his own hand. The way he’s responding like he’s in love with an idiot is kind of funny. Behind that rough exterior of his is somebody whose actually quite relieved you’re enjoying this in the first place. He often thinks his own company is quite boring.

————————————————————————

Medic:

- Actually immediately starts laughing too. He’s had sexual encounters before and knows how procreation works. (Not to mention the behavior of women.) Girls in movies like this are depicted as so two dimensional he knows full well the people who made this movie must’ve never spoken to an actual woman before. Reminder TF2 takes place in the late 60s so these are some very stupid ass corny romance films.

- He laughs so hard he actually starts coughing. Holy shit. How is this man not dying at this point? He’s screaming something you’re certain is insults in german at the TV. But even if you speak the language it’s not like you can understand between his fits of chaotic laughter. He’s so queer that romance movies make him short circuit.

- “Well actually you see; realistically she has a very high chance of getting pregnant now because he didn’t use a condom. Even know they said they don’t want a kid. Not to mention!; He didn’t use any lube which can be quite painful. Surprised there wasn’t a doctor’s visit after this.” He goes on and on about how stupid and corny this shit is and you can’t really blame him. Although now you have to sit there for hours and listen to him ramble.

————————————————————————

Spy:

- Visibly offended you’d laugh at such a beautiful display. Sex to him is like an art piece. Intertwining bodies and becoming one with your other half/halves. Puts his hand to his chest and glares at you with disgust. You don’t care of course, Spy is a drama queen and always has been. His judgmental expression wasn’t because of your strange behavior, in fact. In any other situation he just wouldn’t care if you acted differently than most people. But he draws the line when you laugh at GORGEOUS SEX. How dare you!!!?? For shame! FOR SHAME!

- “Rest assured, Intimacy can be more than this. I can make you feel pleasure that these two on screen could only dream about if you keep an open mind.” Of course Spy turns this into something horny. He looks rather serious about this and points his cigarette to the closet. Unbeknownst to anybody but you, Spy has a museum’s worth of sex toys in that thing. The offer immediately made you stop laughing. “Oh.” You say.

- Spy is satisfied with your red face and timid attitude towards the question. He watches you and takes a huge drag of his cigarette. “Hmm?” He raises both eyebrows and pouts, mockingly. Like a wolf who cornered a lamb.

[saphhhiree]

solitary embers:

the deadly dance of the jack of hearts.

a/n: chishiya x flirty!clever!reader. this is during the solitary confinement game that’s played in season two! my first fanfic on here…. i’m trying my hardest LOL. anyway… list of flirting from the reader, chishiya definitely “hates” it. erm ya this will be a series with smut at some point enjoy!!! also.. i don’t remember like anyone’s name except for urumi, banda and obi

within the dark confines of teio prison, another sinister game of life and death began—the jack of hearts. each player wore a collar with a hidden card suit on the back, and the challenge was to deduce their own symbol without the aid of mirrors or reflective surfaces. the stakes were high, and the players' lives hinged on their ability to trust others to unravel the mysteries of their collars.

amidst the tension and uncertainty, you found yourself in a large room with 19 other players, including chishiya shuntaro, a master strategist that you played with during the game of tag. “chishiya!” you called out, relief washing over you seeing that at least you weren’t alone, you knew chishiya, he’s smart. you needed him on your side for this game specifically. he softly nodded in your direction.

as the hour of free roam began, players scattered across the prison, forming alliances in their quest for survival. you observed the interactions among the others, trying to discern who might be a trustworthy ally and who could be the elusive jack of hearts. soon you cautiously ventured into the prison grounds, your heart pounding with anxiety. the atmosphere was tense, and the sense of isolation weighed heavily on your shoulders. a large monitor displayed the faces of your fellow participants, a haunting reminder of the deadly stakes. as you continued your exploration, you spotted chishiya, he appeared deep in thought, you followed his gaze that was fixated on the same monitor. a part of you wished you could approach him, hoping that his keen mind might offer valuable insights. however, you hesitated, unsure if he would welcome any intrusion. you soon found the snack area, looked around at the large amount snacks and water provided. it seemed the prison authorities were intent on making this a long-lasting ordeal. the realization that this game could continue for what seems like forever only added to the weight on your shoulders. as you continued you search you wound up back in the main room, chishiya still there. you weren’t close in any means, but the shared experience of one game together meant you could trust eachother on a surface level.

"hey, have you figured out your symbol?" urumi asked, approaching you with a weirdly big grin. "um not yet," you replied, trying to keep your nerves in check. "but i’m working on it." you flashed two quick thumbs up with a sarcastic smile on your face. chishiya stood against a wall nearby, listening to the exchange silently. he glanced at you and raised an eyebrow, as if to say, "are you okay?" you offered a small nod, appreciating the unspoken support. you walked over to him,“chishiya.. have you noticed anything that could help us?” you asked, his eyes met yours, he smirked briefly and stated “observation is key. we have pay attention to even the smallest details.” youre curiosity piqued, you winked and leaned in his ear, making it look like you had something extremely important to say, “well, chishiya, i’ve done some observing, and i’ve deducted that you’re one of the most intriguing details about this whole place… i can’t help wonder what’s lurking behind those mysterious eyes..” you leaned back against the way a slight smile on your face. his lips twitched, finding it hard to suppress a smirk as the lightest shade of red dusted his ears and cheeks. “you know, flattery won’t get us out of here.” he turned his head as he spoke, thankful that it’s slightly dim in the room. “ah but it never hurts, does it chishiya? besides, we could all die tomorrow, why not have some fun?” you turned your head to meet his gaze, shrugging as you spoke. “let’s just focus on the game.” he couldn’t read you, were you being serious? or just trying to lighten the mood? or both?? “aw i promise not to distract you too much” you sarcastically spoke, he ignored you, and looked at the the groups trying to observe them without thinking about what you just said.

as the minutes dwindled, everyone walked to find their chosen confinements to say their card suit. you and chishiya slowly made your way to the cells, walking side by side. "i can't help but feel that this game is designed to sow distrust among us," chishiya said, his voice low but steady. you nodded in agreement. "of course our resident genius knows what to do, i get it, it's all about survival. we can't let ourselves get too comfortable with anyone." he rolled his eyes at the first part of your sentence, “let me say it again, flattery won’t get us out of here, y/n” you giggled a little bit side eyeing him. he intrigued you, it felt like forever ago since you guys played tag with usagi and arisu. you couldn’t hide the fact that he piqued your interest that night, watching from afar from the highest floor, then pulling out a homemade taser??? you wanted to break his shell. figure out if his quiet exterior hid a deeper level of insight and emotion. a voiced chimed to let the players know they should retreat to their cells as they had five minutes left. both slowly approaching your cells, you asked, “i can trust you right ?” and turned around. with a subtle gesture, chishiya reached out and lifted your hair, fingers brushing against you neck leaving a trail of goosebumps down your spine. your heart skipped a beat, you found him attractive yea, and this had to be done in order for you to make it to the next round, but you couldn’t help feel soothed by his electrifying touch, a tender twinge of intimacy in the midst of a deadly game. he pretty much read your mind, “i’m sorry, it’s the only way” he murmured, voice soft and hesitant, almost as if he wanted to explain the touch. he leaned in close to you, his warm breath grazing your ear, “hearts.” you bit your lip, trying to steady your racing thoughts. “thank you.” you whispered back, all the confidence you had when flirting with him previously gone. grateful for the moment of trust. you turned back around facing him, “well mr. mysterious, it’s only fair if i tell you yours..” you tried being playful to ignore the fact you could hear your own heartbeat in your ears. he took off his hood, “spades.” you said as he turned back around. he nodded, a silent gesture that was still appreciated.

you entered the cell, as it seemed to hold its breath as you waited for the prompt to give your answer. mind still flustered from the earlier interaction, “hearts.” moments later, a soft click echoed through the cell, confirming your answer was correct.

RAHHHH!!!!!

i will work on pt2 soon! i hope you guys liked it. still working on writing n stuff.. sorry if any of this is ooc!!! enjoy the rest of your day/night :)

PART TWO IS OUT!!

[thatbanditqueen]

Aphrodite's Curse

The last of this year's Elvis-o-ween one shots.....

A hastily written spooky smutfest that may be my worst writing yet?

Summary: Loosely based on Elvis' affair with Elisabeth Stefaniak, this one shot finds our boy during his Army service living in Bad Neuheim and playing the field, much to the chagrin of his shy, live-in secretary and girlfriend Bettina.

Warnings: MINORS DNI Sex stuff, infidelity, angsty angst, lots of typos and probably nonsensical sentences.

WC: 6.2 K

Thursday, September 9th, 1959

Goethestraße 14, Bad Nauheim, West Germany

Approximate 10:45 p.m.

Bettina watched from across the room as Elvis whispered a joke to the Australian girl sitting beside him on the piano bench. What was her name, Julie? Cynthia? Her shriek was so loud and jarring it made Bettina bite her lip, and she winced at the coppery taste on her tongue, mad at herself for being so jumpy. Elvis hit a minor key and lost his place in the song, which made him turn and yell at Charlie.

“Watch ya chords now, watch it Foggy Bottom Boy. Made me loose my place. Some times I think ya head got water logged crossin’ over.”

Elvis sighed, then went back to tinkering around on the keys, settling on singing the ballad “I’ll Take You Home Again Kathleen” directly to Julia, whose giggles now filled the room. There were a handful of people over tonight, in addition to the Aussies that Lamar had brought home from the beer hall. No doubt he had hoped to get lucky with one of them, but both girls had been hovering around Elvis since they arrived, and Lamar had now plopped onto the couch with a pout. Bettina caught Rex looking over at her, and she rolled her eyes and tilted her head at Elvis, trying to get Rex to smile. Elvis had been singing this song all week. But there was more than just teasing camaraderie in Rex’s eyes. There was sympathy too in the way he narrowed his gaze at her. Bettina frowned and turned her eyes down to stare down at her shoes. She pulled on her necklace and crossed her arms around herself as tight as she could. You wished for this, you are living the dream, she told herself as she leaned further into the shadows.

Meeting Elvis last year had been her dream. Was it only a year ago? How had her life changed so completely in one year? She had left that shy, inexperienced eighteen year old girl who had spent her nights hoping to get Elvis’ autograph back in Graferwohr. The night Rex noticed her and took her to meet Elvis had been the happiest night of her life. Elvis had walked her home and kissed her good night against the tree in front of her apartment building. His lips had been so sweet, his hands so tender. They had lifted her off the ground and she was pretty sure she had just floated up to her bedroom knowing nothing in life would ever top this experience.

But then Elvis had shown up at her door, her door, again the next night and invited himself to dinner. He spent the week at their apartment, flirting with her mother, playing their piano and then kissing her good night when she walked him out. No, nothing could ever top this.

But then, as she braced herself to bid him farewell at the end of his training he invited her to come live with him in Bad Neuheim and be his secretary. You could have knocked her over with a feather. Because Bettina knew from the way he kissed her that he was not just asking her to be his secretary. She knew he was bringing her home to be his girlfriend, and make all her wishes come true.

If only she had been more specific and wished to be his only girlfriend.

Now here she was, spending her evenings unsure if Elvis would spend the night with her or another girl he met. The music stopped and Bettina glanced up to see Elvis whisper again to the girl sitting next to him. His hand caressed the girl’s shoulder and then she blushed and nodded. A minute later she stood and disappeared through the door on the other side of the living room toward the back staircase. He thinks he is being so clever, Bettina thought. In ten or fifteen minutes he’ll declare himself ready for bed and go join her. It was a performance Bettina knew all too well.

Elvis continued play songs on the piano, singing “I Asked the Lord” next and then a few other American pop songs. Charlie was harmonizing with Elvis, but now he, too, was shooting her a sorrowful look. Ugh. Bettina felt a prickle behind her eyes and had to blink back her tears. She wanted to recede through the wall.

But that is not how walls work. They do not just open up and transport you to a better place when you feel uncomfortable. Had she ever felt more alone than she did here in a room full of soldiers, wives, dates and random women who all ignored her ?

Thinking of this, Bettina sucked on the part of her lip that she had bitten and decided to flee to the kitchen. She grabbed a Fanta and the sweet, citrus drink stung her lip. But she kept gulping it down, forcing herself to drink it all. At least it got rid of the bitter taste of blood in her mouth.

The other Australian stumbled through the swinging door to the kitchen and dipped her head as she took a Dr. Pepper from the ice in the sink.

“Oh hiya. Gosh, our own private Elvie concert, eh? Must be sweet as honey working as Elvis Presley’s secretary, faffing around with him and this lot all the time.”

Bettina took another sip of her drink, looking the blonde up and down. “Ja, sweet as honey. It is, as they say, the most.”

“Yeah, s’what I thought, ol Elvie is so much more handsome in person, and so fun too. We’re all just mad for him back in ‘straya.”

“Hmmm, ja, he is so fun.”

Bettina smiled and nodded big before she excused herself and made her own way upstairs and then down the narrow hallway to her bedroom. She could hear Dodger snoring in the room next to her's. Stopping outside Elvis’ room,  the faint sound of girlish giggles hummed through the door, followed by a loud THUMP on the bed. It made Bettina’s tummy drop, and she had to steady herself against the wall. She didn’t even brush her teeth, she want straight to bed. All she wanted was to slip under her covers and disappear into oblivion. The taste of orange Fanta was still on her lips, sweet and bitter.

It was before dawn when she heard the door to her room creak open. Half asleep, Bettina stirred and straightened her back as she felt someone climb into bed behind her. A tall, long lanky someone. She knew without looking it was Elvis. Still miffed, she kept her eyes closed and turned her head away as he pulled her into him.

“There she is, can’t sleep without ma little Fog Horn.” His breath was warm on her neck, and he nuzzled his chin into her shoulder. ”Ugh, honey, I’m plum tuckered out.” He leaned over her, giving her a final kiss on her ear before settling in with his arms around her.

When Bettina woke up she was in his arms and her head rested over his chest, her breath keeping time with each lift and fall of his body. His palm was flat against her back and she could feel his fingers trace circles slowly into the silk fabric of her night dress. The dim light of dawn shone in through the window, painting the room in a pinkish dreamy haze. She thought of all the things she wanted to tell him. How she could still smell a foreign perfume on his bare chest. Or ask him in a snarky tone what happened to his other friend. But then his mouth was crushing into the top of her forehead and each kiss reminded her that he was there, with her. Not anyone else. And the reassurance of his physical body, here and now, longing for her, made her heart swell with desire. His fingers stroked away all her hurt and jealous qualms like sunshine chasing away the clouds, and she was his completely once more.

Bettina tilted her head to meet his lips and he moaned into her mouth. “Aw Betty, this is always ma favorite part of the day.”

The smell of Elvis’ musky sweat and pomade filled Bettina’s nose when he shifted himself over her. His knees grazing hers as a goofy, bashful smile spread across his face. Below her waist his fingers pulled at the hem of her night dress.

 “I mean it honey, s’only thing that gets me through the day.”

His eyes turned downward, and Bettina shivered with anticipation as he languidly rolled the beige silk fabric up her thigh, inch my inch, savoring the way he gasped out at the sight of her white panties. She lifted her hips to help him pull them off and sighed out when he slide his fingers between her legs. Then his breath was at her neck and he was nibbling her ear, all the while flicking his fingers back and forth over her sensitive nub.

“She’s such a pretty baby. Prettiest baby he ever found. He’s so lucky to find a lil angel like hers in Germany.”

Elvis awkwardly fumbled at his belt, shaking his head as he had to sit back to  to get his pants off. Bettina rolled her teeth over her lip, feeling the sensitive spot where she had bit herself again. She was happiest right here, looking up at Elvis as he eagerly struggled to get his clothes off and make love to her. The warmth of the sheets enveloped her and she gave him a single nod of approval as he parted her legs. Her hands clutched  his back, roving over his shoulder blades as he thrust gently into her. Moaning out, she focused on his eyes and how intent they were as she relaxed and opened herself to him.  His lip hung open in apt concentration and she bucked into him as he steadily rocked back and forth.

An aching tingling pleasure coiled in her belly each time their hips met, and Elvis leaned down closer as he sunk further into her. Kissing her neck and whispering sweetly about how pretty she was, and how much she meant to him. He found the spot that made her cry out, and the metal frame of her bed began to bang lightly against the wall as he increased his rhythm. She could hold back no longer and moaned out as her orgasm burst through. Just then the door to Grandma's room slammed shut and Elvis quickly covered her mouth with his hands to muffle the sound of her cries as Dodger’s footsteps echoed through the hallway on the other side of the wall.

He shook his head, sssshing her with a michievous grin. Bettina made a face, as if to say she couldn’t help it and Elvis’s grin became a squeezed, pained expression. His movements become more erratic and he began to stutter before he pulled out and finished over her belly. Afterwards, he caught his breath and fell back into the pillows panting, drawing Bettina into him as the sweat cooled over their bodies and they heaved together. She leaned into his chest hair and whispered “Ich liebe dich,” and he stroked her head, mumbling “me too, baby, me too.”

At five a.m. he kissed her forehead and pulled on his pants, looking both ways out of her door before departing with a wink.  Bettina waited until he showered and went downstairs before she got up to follow.

6 a.m. Friday, September 10th 1959

Goethestraße 14, Bad Nauheim, West Germany

Dodger was pouring another cup of coffee for her son and grandson when Bettina came into the dining room and blushed at the sight of Elvis’ grandmother.

Some nights he snuck into her room late at night, some nights he would whisper for her to see him in his bedroom. Either way, she was certain the old woman could hear the creak of the mattress from their late night and early morning activities. For that matter, Bettina guessed that Elvis’ father Vernon also knew how things were between his son and her. But whatever his thoughts on the matter were, Vernon kept them to himself.

Elvis stood to leave with a mouth still chewing bacon, egg and tomato sandwich. This did not stop him from kissing first Dodger and then Bettina on the cheek and wishing his babies a good day. Bettina downed a cup of coffee and helped Grandma clean up.

“God knows that youngun’ has the world on his shoulders. S’too much for one boy to bear. He is lucky to have a nice girl like you, Betty.”

Dodger looked her in the eye, before lifting up the loaf of cornbread that Vernon’s new girlfriend, Dee, had brought over. Dodger sniffed it with a tight grimace before tossing it in the trash.

“That Stanley woman has about as much business messing with corn bread as she does messing with my son.”

Bettina giggled, and the two woman made quick work of clearing up the kitchen together before Bettina went to work sorting through Elvis’ fan mail and sending back photographs that she signed for him.

It was a cheerful, fall day, and the house was in high spirits when Elvis came back for lunch to eat with Lamar and Cliff. It was only after Frau Pieper, the house keeper, brought Bettina the latest stack of mail that she felt her spirits waver again.

There on the top was a pink envelope addressed to Bettina. This was what Elvis told his girlfriends back in Memphis to do in order to make sure their correspondence didn’t get mixed up with the fan mail. Looking at the return address, this letter was from Anita Wood.

Frau Pieper muttered under her breath in German as she watched Bettina hesitate.

“Ack, you should be ashamed of yourself, cheapening your body for that American. You will never be anything more to him than a bed warmer.”

Bettina stared down at the wood floor, studying the grain and the scratches there.

“You are just jealous, Frau Pieper.  I see the way you look at Elvis, how you hug him. You find him just as irresistible as I do.”

The housekeeper grinned. “If I were your age, I would be visiting Golde Wolff for a love spell.”

“Golde Wolff? A love spell?” Bettina turned back and arched her eyebrows, unsure she had heard Frau Pieper correctly.

“Ja, the old Jewish witch on Friedensstraße.”

Bettina rubbed her hands together. “I heard there were no Jews left in Bad Neuheim after -”

“Ja, Golde Wolff is the last Jew, she hid in a basement of one of the abandoned houses for ten years. They say she only came out during the darkest nights to forage for herbs and food.” Frau Pieper leaned in, whispering in a hushed tone.  “The men who burned the synagogue and marched the Jews to the trains died tragically. All of them. At different times. She cursed them with her magical spells.”

“Hmmm, you don’t really believe that, do you?”

Frau Pieper put her hands in her apron and leveled Bettina with a look as sharp as a knife.

“I do. My sister took my niece Elfriede to Golde Wolff when no doctor could cure her fever. Today, Elfriede is married and lives a full life. If you want to fix that boy who treats you like a pig, go to Friedensstraße.”

Bettina laughed, and then grabbed Anita’s pink letter, as if to show Frau Pieper how aloof she was, how accommodating and at ease she could be knowing she was one of the many women in Elvis’ life. Frau Pieper was just another ignorant, superstitious small town old lady. Witches. Honestly. It was just how the old guard masked their prejudice to Jews today in 1959.

“It’s women like you who are holding this country back.” She muttered in English smiling all the while at the housekeeper, knowing she didn’t speak English.

But Frau Pieper’s words were harder to dispel and Bettina found they stayed with her through the day.

You will never be anything more to him than a bed warmer. The boy who treats you like a pig.

These words poked at her, digging deep into the recesses of her subconscious, the part of her that was not cool and aloof. The part of her that wanted more. That told her if she was just prettier, funnier, more charming Elvis would not want to be with other girls. And she could have him all to herself.

A darkness settled over Bettina’s mood. Not even the bright light of Elvis’ smile could fully put her at ease when he got home and squeezed her waist, teasing her with a mouth full of coconut cake. No, her mood only darkened as the night wore on, and it got harder to cover it with a forced smile after the two Australian girls returned and gleefully smiled when Elvis invited them both up to his room. He did not visit Bettina that night, and the next day she heard him bragging to Lamar and Cliff at lunch.

“Man oh man, ain’t nothin’ like a pack a wild Australian gals. Almost too much, jack. I’m tellin’ ya. Pounced on me like a couple a tigers. Grrrrr. Know what I mean? All I gotta say is, look out.” They laughed. “I don’t know bout all that, like my girls to act like girls, ya know? Them cats was too aggressive. Think I got some scratch marks.” This was followed by another round of sycophantic laughter, and a joke from Elvis about how Lamar likes his guys to act like girls.

It was all Bettina could do to keep her smile steady when she met Elvis in the hallway and accepted a farewell kiss on the cheek.

“There’s my gal.” His crooked smile melted her heart. “Why can’t every gal be like you, Betty? Ya just pretty and so sweet.”

That’s why you don’t need every girl, you just need me, she thought to her self.

It was not long after this that Bettina  gathered her things and ventured out to find Friedensstraße.

It was not late, only half past three when Bettina got down to the town square. Yet for some reason it was already getting dark. The uneven cobblestones in the street  rose to meet Bettina’s shoes as if they were trying to trip her, and she felt as if the town was progressively getting darker as she made her way through what must have been the old Jewish quarter.  Bettina walked all the way down Friedensstraße, but there was no sign or business that looked like it belonged to a witch. She wasn’t sure what kind of store front a witch would have. She hadn’t wanted to give Frau Pieper the satisfaction of knowing she was taking the old women’s advice, and so had just gone to town hoping she would find it. It was only on her third trip sauntering back up Friedensstraße that she noticed the dark, narrow alley and the little flag sticking up from a basement several buildings down. Bettina’s heart beat faster as she stumbled toward the sign, finally able to read the tattered cloth in the dark depth of the alley: “Der Apotheker.”

The rail at the top of the stairs down to the basement door was wet, and Bettina gripped it tightly, unsure whether to go through with this visit. She didn’t believe in witches, she didn’t believe in magic. At the bottom of the stairs was a door painted black, and in the middle a faded yellow star. It almost looked as if a circle or marking had been drawn around it, and Bettina was just squinting to try and make it out when the door flew open and she felt the wind push her forward until she was stumping into a dimly lit parlor.

“Come here, mine kindela.”

A soft throaty voice called from the back of the room, where a short, stout older women stood. Her hair was cut in a short grey bob, and her dress was a smart mustard yellow floral print. The kind popular after the war had ended. A golden dragonfly pin lifted the hair off the right side of the women’s face, and adiamonds sparkled in the dragonfly's wings.

This was the old Jewish witch? She was trim and clean and friendly and could have been someone’s grandmother. Comparatively, Frau Pieper looked more like a fat old hag. But then Bettina noticed something eerie about the way Golde Wolff smiled at her

“I ve been waiting for you. Have a seat, have a seat.” Golde motioned to the chairs at a dark red table in the center of the room.

Bettina looked around as she sat, the walls of the basement were painted a dark, burgundy color. Underneath her was a Persian rug with navy, gold and burgundy detailed patterns swirling around. As Bettina tread over it she could almost swear the patterns were moving. Shelves lined the back half of the parlor, stacked with glass jars filled with plants and powders and god knows whatelse. A stained glass lamp decorated with dragonflies in the mosaic and around the metal base was the only light in the room, save for a candle burning in the middle of the table.

“I’m, I’m not really sure why I’m here.”

Golde sat down across from her, folding her hands on the table.

“You want a spell. A love spell, no?”

Bettina nodded, her mouth hung open.

“if I do this, you can never go back. There is no remedy. Do you really want to make someone love you?”

 “I - he, uh. He already loves me. He tells me all the time. I just want, I want him to love only me.”

Golde nodded, petting the black cat who suddenly appeared and jumped up into her lap.

“Ah, yes, a spell to bring forth feelings that are already there. Focus them. Well, there will be a price.”

“Would I have to sacrifice something I want, like not being able to have children?”

“No, no. A cost, forty marks to be exact.”

"Oh, ha."

Bettina pulled out her wallet, that was half a week’s wages. She swallowed hard and handed over the money. Golde smiled and put out her hand.

“I need something of yours and something of his.”

Bettina pulled out the white, ivory bone comb she had found in Elvis’ room before she left, and then plucked a hair from her own head, placing the the black and brown strands into the witch’s palm. 

Whack! The cat jumped on the table and began to rub against Bettina’s shoulder, purring.

“Wait here, Rumi will keep you company.”

And so Bettina scratched Rumi behind his ears and watched as the witch pulled out jars and poured ingredients into a mortar, grinding it up with a pestle. Twenty minutes later, Golde was pouring the mixture into a glass jar and handing the deep red candle to Bettina.

“You must say your intention out loud then light the candle immediately and let it burn over night. Put it somewhere well protected where the flame can burn strong, creating a robust foundation for your love. When the candle has burned out, your spell will be complete.”

Bettina lit the candle the minute she got back, and left it burning on top of her dresser far from the window or the door. She could tell the magic was working immediately. Elvis was sweet to her the whole night through, pulling her on to his lap as he cajoled Cliff to entertain them with some of his stories, and keeping her near him all evening. His hands were at her waist, caressing her back and forth with his thumbs, his knee between her legs, naughtily pushing up and down. And when it was time for bed, he put his hand around her shoulder and guided her upstairs in front of the other guests.

 5 a.m. Saturday, September 12th , 1959

Goethestraße 14, Bad Nauheim, West Germany

At dawn he was furtively rubbing against her, half asleep with a full erection, and Bettina turned into him, bringing him between her legs for their morning love making ritual. She sighed as he pressed his dry lips to her neck, and peppered her clavicle with kisses as they banged the metal frame into the wall clumsily rocking and grunting into the day.

The candle had burned down to the bottom when Bettina checked it, and she smiled with satisfaction as she cleaned herself off and skipped down stairs to help Grandma with breakfast.

At midday she looked up from her work in the office to see Elvis jumping the high wooden fence that bordered the back yard and emerging at her window, smirking as he tapped her window. She opened it and laughed as he jumps through, helping to pull him in and then falling back against the desk.

“There is a door, you know, ja?”

Elvis’ lips curled into a wider grin and his hands held her tight. “This way was more fun. Better view.”

He waggled his eyebrows and kissed her lips, a glint in his eye.

“You are a naughty little boy.”

“Nah uh, ain’t true.” He mumbles, lifting her on to the desk and knocking over her carefully stacked piles of fan letters and autographs. “He’s a good little boy. He’s her good little boy.” Then before she knew it he was telling her to be quiet as he settled on his knees and removed her panties, and his head disappeared under her skirt. At first, his tongue tickled her, she had yet to feel totally at ease letting a man do this. But Elvis had been dutifully working all year to make Bettina comfortable being kissed between her legs. There. At her pleasure point. His voice hummed into her as he pulled her to the edge of the table. He lapped at her gently, moving his index finger into her, his tongue feathering over her at first, then gradually flicking her nub before kissing it again. Lingering, he now possessed her completely with his mouth. Bettina knocked over more stacks of mail as she tried and failed to to find the edge of the desk to hold something as her whole body began to vibrate and thrash with the overwhelming sensation of her second orgasm of the day.  She was still heaving and shuddering from the aftershocks as Elvis wiped his face on her inner thighs and licked his lips, a devilish glint in his eye.

“Mhmmm mhmmm mhmm. Guess I had my dessert fore ma meal. S’what you do to me, Betty boo.”

Bettina stayed in the office over the lunch hour, trying to compose herself and smiling. The spell had worked. She could feel it.

The spell had clearly not worked. There was no other explanation, Bettina thought, as she stood in her usual perch at the edge of the living room and watched Elvis talk and flirt with Heli, one of the other pretty young German girls he was dating. Bettina thought of the intimate moments she had shared with Elvis just hours ao. This made her tummy do several more summersaults until she could no longer stand to watch them anymore. Instead, she calmly turned and fled to her office. Moments later the door handle turned, and she looked up with excitement, knowing Elvis must have been stymied by the spell and told Heli to get lost.

But it wasn’t Elvis.

“Please Rex, I’d like to just be alone, I - I have a headache.”

Rex inhaled, and instead of leaving, walked towards where she stood, looking out the window. He grabbed her wrist.

“I can’t bear to see him treat you like this, Betty. You’re so beautiful.”

“Rex stop - what are you doing? You shouldn’t be here. You know what he will do if he finds you talking to me like this.”

Rex stepped closer.

“I don’t care, I can’t stop thinking of you. I love you.”

Bettina blinked, and pulled her hand from his, looking around the room to get her bearing. She didn’t know what to do, so she slapped his face, then jumped back as if she had been the one struck. Rex floundered for something to say, but Bettina didn’t want to hear it and shuffled out as if the room was on fire, sequestering herself in her bedroom alone.

The sound of Elvis mattress bumping against the wall across the hallway drove a knife deeper and deeper into Bettina’s heart.

8 a.m. Sunday, September 13th , 1959

A dark alley off Friedensstraße,  Bad Nauheim, West Germany

The air was chilly as Bettina made her way down the steps to Golde’s door, rapping against the black paint loudly until the witch finally opened up.

“Good morning, my child, it is early for —”

“Your spell didn’t work.”

Bettina pushed her small frame through the cracked door, eyeing Golde’s gold and burgundy robes as she entered the witch’s parlor.

“That is not possible.” Golde announced, closing the door behind her.

The smell of pinewood wafted through the room, and Bettina gazed into the flames of Golde’s fire, watching them dance as she warmed her hands.

“Well, this time it is. But that is ok, I no longer want him to love me.” She turned to the witch, fists clenched. “What is the price for you to curse him?”

Golde put her hand on Bettina’s shoulder, as Rumi slinked over, mewling at the witch’s feet. “My child, you are so quick and changeable. Yesterday a love spell, today a curse. I cannot in good conscience do this. You must be mistaken, my spells always work.”

“Yesterday, he made love to me in the morning and was in bed with another women by nightfall.”

Golde stroked her chin, and walked over to the table, motioning for Bettina to join her.

“And you are certain you brought me his hair?”

“Yes, I found that comb on the floor of his room.”

“You said he loved you already. So, the spell I made for you was one for a natural love, a spell to acquire his undivided devotion where love already existed. The only explanation is that you are wrong. He does not love you. He is just using you for his carnal pleasure.”

Bettina nodded. “Ja, he seems so earnest, so sincere. But you must be right. All the more reason I want to put a curse on him.”

“You are certain? Once done, it cannot be undone.”

Bettina folded her hands, looking down at where Rumi’s black tail now wound around her ankle.

“ I was a virgin a year ago, besotted with this man. He brought me to live and work with him, he lied, telling me he loved me. And now I am stuck working for him, in love with him, watching as he romances woman after woman in front of me, and then when he is bored, he comes back to me for comfort and companionship. I do not have the strength to leave him. If I cannot have him, I want him to feel the same way I do.”

“60 deustch marks.”

Bettina sucked in her breath. Then pulled out her wallet, 60 was all she had on her, it was the most money she had ever spent on anything in her adult life. Golde stood and rummaged around in her cabinet until she pulled out a black candle, while Rumi jumped up and made himself comfortable in Bettina’s lap.

“I do not need anything except his name. After I light the candle, we must hold hands and you will recite the fate you want to blight on this man. Understood?”

Bettina shivered as a cold wind blew through the parlor.

“Yes, I understand.”

“His name?”

“Elvis Presley.”

The witch raised her eyebrow, but lit the candle never the less. She took Bettina’s hands and began to mutter an incantation in a language Bettina did not understand. Maybe it was Hebrew, but she was not sure. Somewhere amidst the doleful recitation she heard the name Elvis Presley repeated a number of times.  Then Golde stopped and raised her voice.

“Oh spirits, we beseech you, hear this poor girl’s plea.” She nodded at Bettina to continue.

“Curse him with unrequited love, may he fall in love with someone who is everything he despises, a succumbus starved for sex and male attention who wants only to use him for his fame and fortune. Whose faithfulness will match his own. Whose betrayal will make him want to die. “

WHACK!

The front door blew open, and the rushing sound of the wind filled the basement, knocking over the lamp and making Rumi run under the couch on the other side of the parlor, mewling louder and louder. Golde did not flinch, she only gripped Bettina’s hands tighter, calling out loudly.

“Here us, oh spirits, curse this Elvis Presley with the affliction of an unrequited love for a woman who embodies all that he despises, may she be the opposite of his ideal and break his heart. And when they meet he will only see her as a reflection of his ideal, his one true love, and by the time he realizes his mistake may it be too late.”

The blast of air circled them in a spiral that tangled their clothes and pulled up their hair, spinning and spinning around in a whirlwind until it blew out the candle’s flame. The front door thwacked shut. And Bettina fell back against the chair fatigued and almost unable to stand.

Somehow she summoned the strength to trudge back along the cobblestones to the house on Goethestraße. None of the guys were there when she returned, just Grandma Presley there to greet her with a pinched smile that made the old woman's cheeks cave in. Bettina thought about Mrs. Presley. Most days Grandma was her only companion. Guilt washed over her briefly for the cursing this kind women’s grandson. But then Bettina thought of Heli and the wound that still ached in her chest from hearing the sounds of their love making this morning. She thought of Julia and Cynthia. She thought of the countless times Elvis had asked her to accompany him on dates as his translator. She knew many of the women he had gone out with better than he did. And then to find that he did not even care for her? It was too much to bear. Exhausted from a hard morning of casting spells, Bettina made her way up stairs and lay down.

It was well past 7 o’clock at night when she woke up again, and she was surprised to see Rex on the floor of Elvis room as she walked past the door.

“What are you looking for?”

Rex stopped, and stood. “I haven’t been able to find my comb in days. It’s a nice, ivory number, I think Elvis and the boys took it as a prank, they were with me when I bought it in Paris.”

Bettina gasped. “No.” She faltered and fell back against the hallway. Her stomach dropped to the ground.

“What is it, my darling, are you ok? Even peaked, you are still the most beautiful -”

Just then Elvis bounded up the stairs, and Rex jumped back a mile.

“There’s my sweetheart, c’mon baby, need my best gal by my side.” Elvis hands were around Bettina’s waist, cradling her into him as he walked down stairs, yelling back at Rex.

“Looking for something Rexadus? You didn’t go and loose that fancy ass comb you bought in Paris already? You shudda seen him, Betty, made us late for our show that night, prancing round buyin that thang.”

Bettina nodded, half dazed. Her mind was racing as she pieced together the mistakes she had made over the last few days, wondering if there was any way to undo the love spell, to uncurse the curse.

She barely heard the doorbell ring or Elvis snapped at Charlie to go answer as he made his way to the piano and sat Bettina next to him as he played. She couldn’t sit still, and began to fidget with her nails. Elvis pursed his lips, and was just about to give her a lecture on proper posture when something caught his eye. Bettina turned to see his friend, Currie, being led into the room with his wife, Carol and a beautiful, shy young girl with porcelain skin, dark brown hair and an upturned nose. Elvis whistled and stopped playing to stride over and introduce himself to the newcomer.

“Howdy, I’m Elvis Pretzel.” He stammered out with an awkward laugh.

Bettina rolled her eyes as she watched him eagerly run his hand through his hair. The young girl blushed demurely.

“A pleasure, I’m sure. My name is Priscilla. Priscilla Beaulieu.”

Happy Halloween.........

tagging a few friends:

@missmaywemeetagain @ellie-24 @be-my-ally @vintageshanny @lookingforrainbows @ashtag6887 @deniseinmn @ab4eva @i-r-i-n-a-a @j-v-9-2 @peskybedtime @shakerattlescroll @arrolyn1114 @lialocklear @everythingelvispresley @artlover8992 @dkayfixates @kingdomforapony @louisejoy86 @notstefaniepresley @literally-just-elvis-fics @whositmcwhatsit

[ohtobealady]

For the one word prompts, could I get breeze please ☺️

Well! I had about sixty different ways I wanted to end this one, but this drabble has a mind of its own. The prompt word is in there, but just barely. Short and sweet baby!cobert for ya, my sweet friend!

—————‘,—————

Breeze

Her heart raced.

Slightly alarmed, and altogether surprised, Cora pulled in a silent breath and held it as he turned his soft smiles elsewhere, to the woman at his right.

Oh, what was wrong with her? True, he’d been the kindest to her in an achingly gentle and humble way, in a way that suggested she’d somehow known him for far longer than she really had. And true again, he did seem to share her humor and as he laughed, or rather chuckled, at her joke—-“I’ve never heard so many adjectives to describe a hit.”—-she felt a little frightened of the way her chest felt tighter, but lighter all at once.

Lord Woodroth, who had asked her to the Lord’s Test Cricket match and on whose arm her hand rested, hadn’t laughed.

Cora removed her hand.

“Is this your first cricket match, Miss Levinson?”

She nodded at the woman. “Yes.”

“And you aren’t enjoying it, then?”

Before Cora could answer him, though, the woman beside him interjected. “Not everyone enjoys The Cricket as much as you, Robert.” And Cora grinned at the way he—-Robert, oh his name was Robert—-rolled his eyes.

“Not even I enjoy it as much as our Lord Downton,” Lord Woodroth added quietly, annoyed she could tell, but Cora couldn’t care.

“I don’t doubt that, Lord Woodroth,” the woman said, her voice sounding far away. “I practically had to restrain him from jumping from his seat and running to the field.”

“Oh, you exaggerate.” The apples of his cheeks looked rosier when he argued.

“Not by much…” the woman added, and then Cora heard her ask something regarding lemonade and Lord Woodroth, too, and Cora found herself having to nod at him, quickly, to disguise the way her thoughts had drifted away from him and to the way Lord Downton—-Robert—-was grinning back at her. He was grinning at her the way he had when they’d danced together three nights ago. Twice. And the way they’d danced at the ball before that. A waltz. And Cora felt breathless.

“Thank you,” she managed before Woodroth walked away with the other woman. But then Lord Downton stepped closer to her, and Cora lost all sense again.

“You’ll have to excuse my sister,” he chuckled. “She thinks she’s much cleverer than she is.”

Cora smiled. “No, no. I’m grateful to her. Truth be told, I’m not sure I enjoyed the match as much as Lord Woodroth would’ve liked. It was nice to have someone make a little fun.”

“Not enjoyed it?”

Cora snorted a laugh at the incredulity he wore. “Oh. Sorry!” She tipped her head. “I don’t mean to offend you.”

“You really didn’t like it? Not at all?”

“But I didn’t say I didn’t enjoy it at all. I only said I hadn’t enjoyed it much. There is a difference.”

“I suppose you enjoy the derbies more. Or God forbid the tennis.”

She shook her head, laughing again. “No. At least I don’t think.”

“Well what is it that you do like, Miss Levinson?” His voice was lower. Softer. So soft she could hardly hear it over the breeze that moved the waves of his chestnut hair. “Please tell me.”

She hoped she smiled up at him, even if she wasn’t sure, for her face went much too warm at his attempt at forwardness. She laughed, awkwardly, and looked into the crowd to try and find Lord Woodroth.

Lord Downton, however, shifted beside her. “I apologize.”

But she shook her head and, taking a step much too close to him, she looked into his eyes. “No. Don’t apologize. It’s only …” she took in another deep breath, and with it filling her lungs, she let herself flirt back. “I think what I like should be rather obvious.”

[peachesofteal]

ok hi it’s me I was the one who asked for more detail about the fae boys and I don’t have a fic fleshed out but I have Thoughts.

Pre-nereid snatching, Ghost mentioned trading favors across dimensions, and roping in the rest of the 141 to help.

One of those was a deal with a witch, Soap went in Ghost’s place (in disguise of course) and asked for some help figuring out the blood magic bit (the little piece that was so obvious and Ghost couldn’t believe he missed it) so Soap’s like ‘great, thanks see ya never!’

and this is all fine and good for the witch, until news of a nereid becoming a fae’s wife hits across the magic world, and the witch can’t help but notice… how similar that spell was to the one she gave a man with a mohawk and- motherfucker. Well. She has a reputation to uphold, so she spends the next several months hunting down the fae (she knows the infamous Ghost wouldn’t show his face to just anyone, so it had to be one of his companions. Then she figured out Soap is the one with the mohawk, and puts it all together).

So when she finds him, she’s clearly furious, but trying her best to remain polite and Soap can’t help but laugh at how adorable it is that this witch is demanding an apology for tricking her.

and that’s really all I’ve got off the top of my head but I just think Soap with an angry witch wife is absolute perfection.

Okay… okay 👀 I love this! 🩵 Let’s say she’s a reader character…

You track him down in the mortal world. After all, the guys realm is nearly impossible to travel to, especially if you’re not from there. Which you’re definitely, definitely not. Your magic is completely different than Fae magic, existing within the confines of the tangible power mostly, fire, water… blood and bone. Your kind comes from the mortal realm, existing in the same pockets of forgotten lore and magic, much like the Nereids.

Here’s the other thing, Fae are the APEX in the magical realms. Even in worlds outside of their own, they are well known. Their power, intelligence, tricks and lust for bloodshed are whispered about far and wide. So imagine how you feel when you realize you inadvertently gave one of them the key to abducting a Nereid from her watery home? You would be devastated. Not to mention, every being knows that blood magic is witchcraft, not Fae magic. So your own community is turning their back on you because you’ve done this, you’re the one who allowed this to happen. You’ve betrayed them, gave away the knowledge of a magic that has lived well protected for centuries, all because you allowed yourself to be tricked by a handsome mortal? Who wasn’t even a mortal at all? How could you not see that… how could you be so blind?

Because you were flattered, that’s how. You were struck by how sweet, how kind and clever he was. You were entranced by his questions, his interest in you and the bookstore, hypnotized by the way his graceful fingers stroked the spines of your most treasured volumes. You weren’t like the others in your coven, you weren’t chased relentlessly by warlocks, weren’t praised for being an eternal beauty, you spent more time with your books and spells and cauldron than you did with with your peers. The few friends you had included your familiar, a mortal girl who worked in the shop with you, and your aunt.

After months of research, tearing apart grimoires and reading tea leaves, you finally figure it out. You finally learn the spell you need to track Fae, and then you cast it to find Johnny. You don’t have much to go on, but you remember his eyes, the sea glass blue shade that shimmered in the afternoon light when he approached you in the bookstore, following you into the back room. You had been completely charmed by him, and thus disarmed… distracted by clever words and his pretty face, letting yourself flirt with him by asking about his mohawk and intriguing accent.

You had been a fool.

So you shuttered the shop early one day, pulling his true form to your mind’s eye, the confirmation of the truth curdling your stomach as you cast the scrying spell, the presence of his magic shimmering all throughout the plane until it led you to a pub, a mere four blocks away.

Your rage, your shame overshadows your fear… a mistake you realize too late that day, far too late until you’re standing in front of him with your hands on your hips… spitting mad, magic swirling around you in violent hues of red and purple while he chuckles openly, admiring how your hair seems to float in the air with the electricity of your rage.

“You used me.” You hiss, fist unclenching, raising in front of your body like a weapon. “You tricked me, you Fae bastard.” Your finger extends, pointing right at him, and in the blink of an eye the air shifts, and he drops his glamour, exposing the true strength of his power, the tips of his ears, the mighty weight of the magic he carries in his veins.

Your words die on your tongue.

Johnny may not know much, but he knows well enough to never, ever, let a witch point at him, for a hex will surely come after.

His hand darts forward, strong fingers wrapping around your wrist and pulling you close, close enough that he can incline his head above your ear, voice razor sharp, lethal and cold when he whispers,

“Did you just point at me, little witch?”

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

s/o brings skellie to a family reunion, but the family doesnt really like s/o.s/o was doing something like getting the plates or something so the family seats the skellie next to s/o's sibling, who's being very flirty towards him. eventually the s/o comes back, sees/knwos whats going on, and deciced to sit on the skellies lap instead.

(sorry if my english is bad, im from mexico!)

Undertale Sans - He's not comfortable. He can see very clearly in your sibling's little game and he hates it. And as he tenses more and more, he might ask them to stop with a pun, to not put you into trouble. If they keep pushing he won't hesitate to be a little less nice though, with black sockets. He's glad when you're back.

Undertale Papyrus - He talks with your sibling but pretends he doesn't see they're trying to flirt with him just to hurt you, playing the idiot like he doesn't see at all they're flirting. You know him though and you can tell he's more and more annoyed as they keep insisting. Your rescue is more than welcome. Papyrus hugs you a bit protectively.

Underswap Sans - As they start to talk to him, he stands up and goes to help his S/O dress the table, completely ignoring them lol. He then sits back next to his S/O, far away from the odious trap your family set for him. He's not stupid you know, and just your sibling thinking he is so means they will never trust them.

Underswap Papyrus - He wants to disappear. He's very uncomfortable and desperately trying to flee to join you, but your sibling keeps insisting and worse, touching him and he keeps staring your way to ask for help. He's way too nice to snap at you, he just wants you gone. Once his S/O is on his lap, he's hiding behind them lol.

Underfell Sans - "are ya trying to seduce me just to piss off my angel? 'cause that's not working, bitch." Yeah, he's not buying it and he will definitely call them out out loud, with no shame. Your sibling gets mad their plan failed and goes to sit somewhere else. Yeah, run away coward.

Underfell Papyrus - He says nothing because he is well educated but you can see his face is becoming more red as he is slowly losing his patience. Your sibling keeps pushing and grabs his hand, only to be rewarded by a long ugly low scary growl. Yeah, if they're clever, they won't continue bothering him more. He hods you protectively once you come back, staring at your sibling straight in the eyes so they get the message.

Horrortale Sans - He yawns lol. They keep talking, they're boring. He just came because you said food was the only good thing in this house and he starts to understand why. Your sibling is offended, even more when Oak starts to purr when you sit on his lap, happy you're there. That man has heart eyes only for you.

Horrortale Papyrus - His smile is tight as you keep trying to flirt with him. But Willow has a lot less patience than good old classic Papyrus, and he is slowly starting to boil inside. When they touch his hand, he instinctively slaps them away with his other hand lol. He then starts to lecture them about boundaries because you're starting to piss him off, and clearly, you can't read how annoyed he is right now. Your sibling looks down like a child, as he welcomes you back, smiling victoriously.

Swapfell Sans - He plays along, flirting with you as well, then leans down to whisper in your ear seductively: "IF YOU KEEP TOUCHING MY ARM, I WILL STAB YOUR HAND." He then smiles creepily at you and watches in pure glee as you're dragging your chair as far away you can. You raise an eyebrow seeing this, he just smiles innocently at you.

Swapfell Papyrus - He plays along, doing his best to know them, then he just "do you want to see something cool? i only show that to my true friends". As you nod excitedly, staring at his S/O who can see clearly he's just toying with you, he puts something in your hand. "that chicken mcnugget has been in my jacket for four years now." You scream and throw whatever you're holding in the air as he just chuckles. It's literally just some green and black playdough, but it's working every time. He then laughs at your misery with his S/O. Better luck next time.

Fellswap Gold Sans - He stares at your sibling, grimaces, and then just "Ew." before he pushes his chair on the opposite way to get away from them. Your sibling gasps loudly and insults him. Wine doesn't care, and even says that, at least, he is honest with his own feelings unlike them. In seconds, your living room turns into a battlefield as your mother starts to scream that's not how guests are supposed to behave, to which he answers that it's not how a family is supposed to care about his S/O, but he didn't say it out loud. You're both asked to leave lol. Wine shrugs and takes you to have lunch in a five-star restaurant because at least he knows what you are worth. Wine is not welcome in your family anymore :')

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He doesn't care about the flirting, all he sees is a perfect stranger, talking to him, and he's so stressed right now. His anxiety is rising buildings as he desperately tries to get closer to his S/O, not answering anything your sibling says. He ends up running to you and clings to you like a koala, scared. Please save him from all this socialization, he doesn't like it.

[tragantia]

Severen during your period - Part 1

-If for some reason you've been with the Hooker clan for some time but you haven't been bled yet, the unavoidable will eventually happen.

Maybe Severen has got it bad for you, and they want to make sure you're the right fit for the clan before turning you. Not that anything could change Sev's mind, but that's beyond the point. Just humor me with this, ok 👀

-One day, you start feeling that familiar sensation. Your mood changes, you feel bloated, your tits feel heavier, bigger and tender. I always experience depressive feelings too, so let's go with that. Your mood sours, you don't feel pretty. And Severen is ever his flirty, confident self, loving to be the center of attention and flirting with anyone who passes by, even if you're there. Particularly, if you're there. He loves to get you worked up.

-But this time, it's different. You don't get back at him, nor reply with something clever and witty, nor steal his attention back by doing something sexy. You just stay there, sad, sulking. He feels suddenly scared he's gone too far. And annoyed. Everything was easier without this kind of attachments. But still, he really is serious about you. He doesn't want to lose you. Shit.

-This can go two different ways. He either sulks back at you, after a few unsuccessful attempts of getting your attention by being silly. Or he drops his act straight away and, to everyone's surprise, apologises and asks you what's wrong. 'Ya didn't that seriously, did ya, pretty baby?'

-But the harm is done. The mood has set in, and it's taken you to a dark place. The strangeness of the situation, of travelling with the clan and being an accessory to serial murder (you've lost the count of their victims since you've been with them at this point) is too much. You cry. You start hiding from him a bit, trying to spend time alone. This goes on for a couple of days, and Severen is actually really worried that Jesse will force him to do something radical about it. And he really, really wants to keep you.

-One day, something happens. Maybe he made a hurtful comment about you, or he muttered something lustfully about another guy or woman he had seen... And you snap. You shout at him, crying, upset at yourself for falling so hard for him. For allowing this to happen, for him to just show up and mess up your life like that.

-He just stays there, wide eyed... Looking at you just falling apart in front of him. And then, he notices it. The rich, coppery smell. Mixed with your own smell, your sweat, your pheromones.

Your period.

He kneels and wraps his arms around your frame, burying his head between your breasts, and then lower. He chuckles, licking his lips. You are about to lose it. What the hell is he playing at?

'Mmmh. Baby, if ya were coming down with your shark week, ya should have just told meh'

-What the... Oh. Oh. Suddenly everything made sense. The sudden sadness, irritability, the mood swings. Your change in demeanor and body image. You had been so absorbed in your new life, you had completely missed the signals. You try to say something, but the noise is caught in your throat, as you blush... You just feel so stupid.

-'It's okay, darlin' ', he says, as he pulls up your skirt... Hope you're somewhere at least partially secluded, because he's gonna spend a long time down there, even if at the beginning you're not bleeding too much.

'I'll make ya feel real, real good...'

- - - - - - -

Continues in part 2 soon, because I have too many pervy thoughts...

[satans-left-asscheeky]

fnv companions react to a courier who may or may not have sold their soul for stunning looks. you could dunk them in radioactive sewage and come out still looking amazing.

Sorry for taking so long... I hope you like it 💖

Arcade

"Have you ever had a bad hair day? No? Didn't think so."

He'd definitely notice their beauty, but it really wouldn't play any part in the way he treated them (unless they were confirmed Batchelor in which case he'd be slightly more awkward) though after a particularly gruesome fight with loads of blood shed and dirt caked everywhere he'd notice how even after all that they still looked like a God. He'd assume it was a genetic thing, but secretly be a bit jealous of how their hair stayed in place under any circumstances.

Benny

"Goddamn pussycat, I'm not used to being outdone, but you are quite the looker you know that?"

He would flirt so hard with them that it was pathetic. Sure, he shot them in the head and all, but it was dark then! If he had seen their eyes...well shit... Anyway, he thinks they're swell.

Boone

"You- I- uh....nevermind"

It took him a while to notice, actually. Boone had trouble looking people in the face because sometimes he sees the faces of people he's seen through his scope. Well, one day, as they were wiping sweat from their brow after a particularly close call, he looked and became a little flustered because he'd never seen someone look that good... especially not after a fight. the words just sort of stumbled out of his mouth, which only made him more flustered, and the left the courier confused

Cass

"Face like yours must get a lotta free drinks, huh hotshot?"

They were easily the most beautiful person she'd ever seen, so of course she'd casually flirt, but if the courier didn't really seem interested, she'd just kinda leave it alone, but hey can't blame her for trying!

Raul

"Carefully Hermosa/Hermoso might break a nail, god forbid."

He'd assume they were really into their looks, but once he realized they didn't even try, he'd find it hilarious actually and tease them even more.

Veronica

"Ya know I'd be nice if you'd share some of your inhuman beauty with others... starting with this one brotherhood scribe... you might know her, actually. "

I mean, for Christ's sake, they'd been shot in the head, buried alive, and walked across the entire Mojave just to get revenge, and they still looked gorgeous doing it! it just wasn't fair. She had to put time and effort into her appearance to look even half as good as six.

Vulpes

"Your appearance may charm the profligates, but you'll quickly find ceaser and his men aren't as simple minded"

He says while admiring their beauty. He'd hate himself for it because their looks should be the last of his worries.. a soldier needed to be strong, clever, and quick in battle. Their attractiveness played no part in their success, and yet he couldn't help but feel like they were sculpted by Venus herself... and he resentes them like crazy for reducing his thoughts to something as trivial as obsessing over anothers beauty

[edslacefront]

We know for a fact that Stede's a Leo historically (and I think it adds up w his character) but hottake: I think Ed's a Leo too, I was torn between that and Gemini, he's a dramatic know-it-all, but I think he def has Gemini goin on in his chart. I think Stede and Ed actually must have fairly similar charts, like they're actually so similar as people besides the way they grew up and that's why they get along so well ya know? Anyway as an astrology ho this is my shot at Ed and Stede's top 6 in their charts, shouting it into the void:

Stede-

A lot of fire and air in this one that's just the vibe I get, he's passionate and longs for adventure, he's actually quite clever but can be a little insensitive sometimes, yet somehow also attentive to those he cares about.

Sun- Leo (as stated earlier) I feel like this one needs little explanation (I end up talking more about his sun sign when I compare him to Ed later when talking about Ed's sun, see below lol) Dramatic, theatrical, draws attention, flamboyant, just listing synonyms at this point

Moon- Libra, At first I thought he'd have a water moon bc he can be quite emotional, but I think thats just the outwardness of his Leo placements. he has this ability to set his feelings aside like an air sign, like when he saved the crew even after Ed died, and then went to mourn in private, although he seems dramatic emotionally he has an ability to detach himself, he forgives quite easily which is a trait ive seen a lot in Libra moons, he has a lot of faith in people. His relationships w others are very important to him, an air moon just makes sense w his whim-prone-ness

Rising- Leo (again ik), he's dramatic asf likes to make a theatrical entrance, draws a lot of attention to himself and cares a lot about his appearance, puts on a confident facade over his cripplingly insecure self in true Leo fashion, is a natural entertainer when he starts to get attention in man on fire

Mercury- Libra (again ik I swear I know about more than two signs) , had to be an air sign he can chat and chat and chat, Ed and him can talk for hours they gotta both have air mercurys, he can also be quite charming in his banter like when he charms Anne Bonnie and Hellcat Maggie like he's a little bit of a flirt even when he doesn't intent to be, he can also be so shady and cunty when he wants to tho, like this dude likes to stur the pot as a strategy kind of lives for the drama, he can be quite clever when he's in a pinch and can always talk himself out of a situation, his bullshitting ability is off the charts

Venus- Taurus, at first I thought he'd have like no earth, but I think he's a little bit more practical in love with the way he thought going to China was too fast, He's still a very attentive lover tho, with Taurus ruled by Venus, he offers Ed a lot of comfort, he's very calming to Ed with his presence and very patient with Ed, he's stubborn in love he never gives up on finding Ed/never loses faith in their love, a real romantic w his cheesy poetry in his letters, immediately shows Ed all of his fancy stuff and that's what initially kind of draws Ed to him, got that luxurious appeal that finer things in life swag

Mars- Libra (AGAIN IK, but a Libra stellium just makes sense to me, not trying to make him seem one dimensional I just get this vibe so strong I swear I'm not just going off stereotypes) This man's always solving conflict or being avoident of his problems, like it's always his tactic, like when he turns Neds crew against him by pointing out that they're being treated unfairly. He prefers for things to be harmonious

Ed:

I think this dude is a chaotic concoction of distributed fire water and air, no practical earth in this mf

Sun- Leo. I just think they both have to be Leo's, Ed is just as dramatic and it's like the world seems to revolve around him at times (like the sun, Leo's ruled by the sun, haha) he just gives such strong Leo-ness w this mane he's got (him and Stede both have excellent hair as a defined feature now that I'm thinking about it) and his facade of confidence is just pure Leo. Him and Stede can both get jealous in a Leo way, like when the other gets all the attention. They both can be a little egotistical and can be kind yet also not take others feelings into account before thinking of their own, like being considerate is not always their first instinct.

Moon- Scorpio. MAN does this boy get HURT. He lashes out asf he is so sensitive. Izzy says "Stede" once and gets fucking shot don't u dare point out what this dude is upset about. He feels things so intensely, doing dramatic shit getting emo w it, gets absolutely consumed by his feelings, had to have a water moon he's a whole tsunami. He's not so secretive w how he feels like maybe the average Scorpio moon but I think the Leo brings it out. This is where Stede and Ed have to figure out how to communicate their feelings w this air and water combo but I think Stede's Libra moon takes the time to understand Ed and how he's caused hurt.

Rising- Gemini. Infamous. Regarded as highly skilled "He's histories greatest tactition", u never know his next move, never shuts up, either introducing himself like "hey everybody I'm blackbeard : )" or "I'm the fucking Devil", the talk of the town, been there done that knows everybody

Mercury- Also Gemini. Like I said he never shuts up, him and Stede talk each other's ears off w these air mercurys, always bouncing between topics, good story teller, him and Stede both, he's always fuckin yelling in my experience Geminis r loud talkers. Goes on rants talks like a nut job. And he's sooo so intelligent his brain is going a million miles a minute, good at memorizing information it makes him a good pirate. Geminis get so eclectic w what they know and they're so so clever and witty and snarky "that's blackbeard, I'm Stede remember."

Venus- Pisces. This dude longs for sweet and delicate affection, he's got these princess doe-eyes, fluttering his lashes and shit, he falls fast for Stede, romanticizes shit, he gets lost and infatuated and day dreamy w shit. He imagined Stede as a beautiful mermaid coming to save him for fucks sake. He's a *sighs* and looks out the window yearningly mf. He PINES like no other. Immediately wanted to watch Stede while he sleeps and switch clothes and go to China, an idealist. I think this matches w Stede so well bc Stede's also a romantic, writing letters and shit, Stede butters him up, but Stede had the ability to remind Ed to be a bit more grounded. They're both so tender ugh they both like to comfort each other ugh

Mars- Aries. He can be quite childish and gets set off by one thing, he has a quick temper, outbursts of yelling, like his rage builds up intense and fast and then burns out, like he literally throws tantrums like when Izzy was pestering him about the plan and then he's like "EVERYTHINGS SO FUCKING BORING". when he's angry he's all consumed and murderous. In my experience an Aries Mars is most likely to smash a chair against the wall and throw a Vase, but then forgive after one conversation bc of how fast burning they r like a bomb and then quiet, returning to that childlike play fullness an Aries has, does shit like play knife parade bc that's their sense of fun, spiteful and gets embarrassed, like when he leaves the fancy dinner table like "YOUR ALL PHONIES" and then is like I've gotta shoot all of them.

Anyways if u read all of this (I doubt anyone will) thanks for listening to my shout into the void, if u disagree pls be gentle lol.